Harvest Life Gracefully: Accepting the Higher Power
Accepting the higher power as being greater than yourself is the most important aspect to harvest life gracefully!
Take a minute and ponder upon electricity and gravity can you control them? Would you not say that these natural powers are greater than ourselves because nothing in our own power can change or control them. Interesting enough with understanding this comes acceptance.
When I accepted that electricity and gravity is a power greater than myself, then I was able to gain the concept that their is a spiritual power who is greater than myself and the natural spiritual law. With accepting this I learn to put my faith and trust into this power. By doing so I tapped into something that is strong and useful for my internal and external growth.
Showing posts with label positive thinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label positive thinking. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully: Acceptance
Harvest Life Gracefully: Acceptance by Jane Jonas
To harvest life gracefully does not require you to like everybody but to accept everybody. I don't believe that is is humanly possible to like every single person you meet, because there will always be somebody that will say or do something that we disagree with. I bet I affect some people in the same way. In fact I know I do! The differences in people will make for variety in our life and it would be helpful to welcome and appreciate it. Just like we appreciate the variety of flowers in our gardens.
It is only necessary to accept people who are different than us, we don't have to like them, regardless of our beliefs, race, color or background. The differences in people will spice up the adventure in living if you would only allow it.
To harvest life gracefully does not require you to like everybody but to accept everybody. I don't believe that is is humanly possible to like every single person you meet, because there will always be somebody that will say or do something that we disagree with. I bet I affect some people in the same way. In fact I know I do! The differences in people will make for variety in our life and it would be helpful to welcome and appreciate it. Just like we appreciate the variety of flowers in our gardens.
It is only necessary to accept people who are different than us, we don't have to like them, regardless of our beliefs, race, color or background. The differences in people will spice up the adventure in living if you would only allow it.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully : Appreciative
Harvest Life Gracefully: Appreciative
To harvest life gracefully is to let our love ones know how well we love and appreciate them. How often do we take the people we love for granted? If you are like me, you would probably agreed that it feels great when our love ones says “you are appreciated. So often mentally we will tell ourselves how fortunate we are to have this or that person in our life. But do we actually let them know that! I think oftentimes we think just because we are in their lives that they should automatically know how well we appreciate them. This includes are spouse, partner, siblings,children, friends and co-workers.. Let us remember this, it is important to let our love ones know how much we appreciate them and love them.
This help to create a happier relationship and positive attitudes among the people in your life. It can boost self-esteem and confidence to the people we love. This also can help a person that may be feeling discouraged, it could make a difference between “giving up or holding on” Harvest Life Gracefully by spreading the attitude of appreciation.
To harvest life gracefully is to let our love ones know how well we love and appreciate them. How often do we take the people we love for granted? If you are like me, you would probably agreed that it feels great when our love ones says “you are appreciated. So often mentally we will tell ourselves how fortunate we are to have this or that person in our life. But do we actually let them know that! I think oftentimes we think just because we are in their lives that they should automatically know how well we appreciate them. This includes are spouse, partner, siblings,children, friends and co-workers.. Let us remember this, it is important to let our love ones know how much we appreciate them and love them.
This help to create a happier relationship and positive attitudes among the people in your life. It can boost self-esteem and confidence to the people we love. This also can help a person that may be feeling discouraged, it could make a difference between “giving up or holding on” Harvest Life Gracefully by spreading the attitude of appreciation.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Learning how to be assertive in an respectful way is to harvest life gracefully
Being assertive in an respectful way is another way one can harvest life gracefully.
I believe it is important to learn to be assertive to reach true happiness,and gain confidence in yourself. Stephen G. wrote the article below about being assertive, and gave some great tricks on how to become assertive. It will take practice and being patience with yourself if you have a problem with being passive and shy. With determination, and faith we can become what we want dream of being.
The secret in how to be more assertive is judging when to assert yourself and having the confidence to do so. If you're not asserting yourself then you're simply not getting the most out of life.
Some over assertive people drive other people away by imposing their thoughts feelings upon others. By reading situations with clarity we can not only stand up for ourselves, we can do so without putting others down.
People who do not assert themselves miss out - Pure and simple! I don't want that for you or for anybody, life is far too short, so to me it makes just too much sense that you should tackle this problem if it is causing you to miss out too.
Think about what I'm about to teach you next as an Assertiveness Training Course and if you learn thoroughly how to improve assertiveness then your reward for passing will be the best thing ever - A better life!
Here is the first step to Becoming More Assertive
Don't Get Angry
Aggression is not assertion, therefore being aggressive is not asserting yourself in fact it is showing a lack of self control.
Asserting yourself requires you to say what and how you feel and put those comments out there without using anger as a tool.
Inner strength is a powerful factor in having an assertive mindset and sometimes being insistent requires us to find strength that we never thought we had. Everyone has amazing inner strength and courage they just have to harness it to overcome shyness.
It's Not As Hard As You May Think
Asserting ourselves is easier than some people may think, some times we only need to give ourselves a little nudge in the right direction.
The real solution to being assertive is to overcome your personal obstacles be they Aggression, Shyness, Laziness, Lack of Judgment or lack of confidence. Each perceived weakness should be tackled individually and this will help you assert yourself on a regular basis.
Know Your Barriers - Work On Them
Once you learn to be bold and insistent you will never feel that feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you want to scream, shout, cry or just run away. Face your individual barriers one by one.
These are the fundamental elements involved in how to improve assertiveness:
*Control your Aggression
*Overcome shyness
*Get motivated and beat laziness/procrastination
*Improve your social skills
*Building confidence
In becoming more assertive, you need to know these barriers so that you might break them down.
Too Lazy Vs Too Scared
Some people are just too lethargic to stand up for themselves, whilst others are scared and they fear they consequences.
Fear isn't a valid excuse, because if you let fear control you then others will use that fear and you may become a slave to it.
Laziness on the other hand is a whole other thing. If you just can't be bothered then that attitude will carry over into and pervade every area of your life, rendering you incompetent and in the eyes of other an failure.
Beat laziness and get motivated to stand up for what matters to you. That's were a lot of people find their passion - In matters of personal importance.
In conclusion
Take on each barrier to assertion and each strength you develop will in turn assist in other areas. It's synergistic and very fulfilling to improve your life in the areas that hold you back.
While it always takes some effort to change, the benefits are well worth the effort.
Tackling some assertive activities and standing up for yourself is a primary factor in becoming more assertive and getting what YOU want out of life.
Don't spend another minute of your life looking at those people who are assertive and get what they want, because they have the confidence to make their voice heard. Life is too short to be a shrinking violet and have your voice in the shadows.
Get out there and voice your opinions, say what you mean and make yourself heard.
How To be More Assertive By Stephen G
I believe it is important to learn to be assertive to reach true happiness,and gain confidence in yourself. Stephen G. wrote the article below about being assertive, and gave some great tricks on how to become assertive. It will take practice and being patience with yourself if you have a problem with being passive and shy. With determination, and faith we can become what we want dream of being.
The secret in how to be more assertive is judging when to assert yourself and having the confidence to do so. If you're not asserting yourself then you're simply not getting the most out of life.
Some over assertive people drive other people away by imposing their thoughts feelings upon others. By reading situations with clarity we can not only stand up for ourselves, we can do so without putting others down.
People who do not assert themselves miss out - Pure and simple! I don't want that for you or for anybody, life is far too short, so to me it makes just too much sense that you should tackle this problem if it is causing you to miss out too.
Think about what I'm about to teach you next as an Assertiveness Training Course and if you learn thoroughly how to improve assertiveness then your reward for passing will be the best thing ever - A better life!
Here is the first step to Becoming More Assertive
Don't Get Angry
Aggression is not assertion, therefore being aggressive is not asserting yourself in fact it is showing a lack of self control.
Asserting yourself requires you to say what and how you feel and put those comments out there without using anger as a tool.
Inner strength is a powerful factor in having an assertive mindset and sometimes being insistent requires us to find strength that we never thought we had. Everyone has amazing inner strength and courage they just have to harness it to overcome shyness.
It's Not As Hard As You May Think
Asserting ourselves is easier than some people may think, some times we only need to give ourselves a little nudge in the right direction.
The real solution to being assertive is to overcome your personal obstacles be they Aggression, Shyness, Laziness, Lack of Judgment or lack of confidence. Each perceived weakness should be tackled individually and this will help you assert yourself on a regular basis.
Know Your Barriers - Work On Them
Once you learn to be bold and insistent you will never feel that feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you want to scream, shout, cry or just run away. Face your individual barriers one by one.
These are the fundamental elements involved in how to improve assertiveness:
*Control your Aggression
*Overcome shyness
*Get motivated and beat laziness/procrastination
*Improve your social skills
*Building confidence
In becoming more assertive, you need to know these barriers so that you might break them down.
Too Lazy Vs Too Scared
Some people are just too lethargic to stand up for themselves, whilst others are scared and they fear they consequences.
Fear isn't a valid excuse, because if you let fear control you then others will use that fear and you may become a slave to it.
Laziness on the other hand is a whole other thing. If you just can't be bothered then that attitude will carry over into and pervade every area of your life, rendering you incompetent and in the eyes of other an failure.
Beat laziness and get motivated to stand up for what matters to you. That's were a lot of people find their passion - In matters of personal importance.
In conclusion
Take on each barrier to assertion and each strength you develop will in turn assist in other areas. It's synergistic and very fulfilling to improve your life in the areas that hold you back.
While it always takes some effort to change, the benefits are well worth the effort.
Tackling some assertive activities and standing up for yourself is a primary factor in becoming more assertive and getting what YOU want out of life.
Don't spend another minute of your life looking at those people who are assertive and get what they want, because they have the confidence to make their voice heard. Life is too short to be a shrinking violet and have your voice in the shadows.
Get out there and voice your opinions, say what you mean and make yourself heard.
How To be More Assertive By Stephen G
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Four Keys to harvest life gracefully and have a successful life
Similar to my 5 steps to harvest life gracefully, Trenton Nunnally wrote about Four Keys to a Successful Life. If you like what he has to say, he has a blog you can go to at http://abundancemastery.blogspot.com.
The Four Keys to a Successful Life
by: Trenton Nunnally
In today's bad economy, many people are feeling frustrated and down about their financial situations. Lots of people are struggling to find a job, support their family's, and generate enough income to keep their heads above water, and stay afloat. As an expert in the mindset of successful people, and what it takes to be successful, I've found there are four keys to living a more prosperous, happy, and successful life.
Mentality is one of the biggest factors in leading a successful life. With education and the mindset of a winner, you will be able to overcome all most any obstacle life may throw at you. In addition to this, the more you learn and act upon the things you have learned, the better your chances are at becoming successful.
Controlling your emotions is a very demanding task that you must master in order to lead a successful life. In mastering this critical life skill, you will be able to better control your feelings about, or in any situation you may come in contact with. Further more, developing the skill of being able to keep your emotions intact, will in turn give you confidence, peace of mind, and more faith you ability's and what you can accomplish for your life.
Spirituality is a very important part in leading a successful life. Just like your body, you must feed your soul with only positive words, and thoughts that increase your spirit, and align your life closer with God. When you do this, you will notice that your faith, and desire will break all the chains that bind you, and are holding you back from living the successful life you know you were meant to live.
The fourth key to leading a successful life is being physically fit. Exercising and proper diet increases energy, confidence, and spirit. With that said, these two things will help you become more motivated, more out going, and increase drive, causing you to get more done, so success comes faster.
In these tough times, in what seems like a divided world via (rich and poor) these 4 keys to success are the building blocks to a better, more productive, and well rounded life. You must decide for your self, how bad you want to be successful. If you're willing to dedicate your life to success, and you use these four tools I have just given you, then make no mistake about it, you will be successful.
About The Author
Trenton Nunnally is a success, and abundance author, teacher, coach, speaker, and trainer. His work's have revolutionized how we think, feel, and act toward achieving, success, and abundance in our lives. You can visit Trenton Nunnally blog at http://abundancemastery.blogspot.com/
The Four Keys to a Successful Life
by: Trenton Nunnally
In today's bad economy, many people are feeling frustrated and down about their financial situations. Lots of people are struggling to find a job, support their family's, and generate enough income to keep their heads above water, and stay afloat. As an expert in the mindset of successful people, and what it takes to be successful, I've found there are four keys to living a more prosperous, happy, and successful life.
Mentality is one of the biggest factors in leading a successful life. With education and the mindset of a winner, you will be able to overcome all most any obstacle life may throw at you. In addition to this, the more you learn and act upon the things you have learned, the better your chances are at becoming successful.
Controlling your emotions is a very demanding task that you must master in order to lead a successful life. In mastering this critical life skill, you will be able to better control your feelings about, or in any situation you may come in contact with. Further more, developing the skill of being able to keep your emotions intact, will in turn give you confidence, peace of mind, and more faith you ability's and what you can accomplish for your life.
Spirituality is a very important part in leading a successful life. Just like your body, you must feed your soul with only positive words, and thoughts that increase your spirit, and align your life closer with God. When you do this, you will notice that your faith, and desire will break all the chains that bind you, and are holding you back from living the successful life you know you were meant to live.
The fourth key to leading a successful life is being physically fit. Exercising and proper diet increases energy, confidence, and spirit. With that said, these two things will help you become more motivated, more out going, and increase drive, causing you to get more done, so success comes faster.
In these tough times, in what seems like a divided world via (rich and poor) these 4 keys to success are the building blocks to a better, more productive, and well rounded life. You must decide for your self, how bad you want to be successful. If you're willing to dedicate your life to success, and you use these four tools I have just given you, then make no mistake about it, you will be successful.
About The Author
Trenton Nunnally is a success, and abundance author, teacher, coach, speaker, and trainer. His work's have revolutionized how we think, feel, and act toward achieving, success, and abundance in our lives. You can visit Trenton Nunnally blog at http://abundancemastery.blogspot.com/
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Positive Thinking is to Harvest Life Gracefully
Harvest Life Gracefully by using affirmations to change your thoughts and attitude.
Affirmations Work and Here's Why
by Gwen Phillips
Affirmations work because:
• Our present reality is a direct result of our thinking
• Affirmations change our thinking.
• Changing our thinking, changes our reality
There are many ways you can practice affirmations. You can write them down; you can post sticky notes around your home, on your desk or in your car. You can use affirmations with the "mirror technique". You can use affirmations during meditation and visualization.
Here are some basics you need to know to begin using affirmations:
Use the Present Tense
Affirmations should be stated in the present tense. For example; "I am whole and healthy now." Try not to affirm something in the future tense, as in “I am going to be healthy”. Our subconscious minds will always be waiting for something to happen.
Use Positive Statements
Create affirmations in the most positive terms. Avoid negative statements. State what you do want rather than what you don’t. Don’t say something like “I don’t want to be sick anymore.” Instead state something positive such as “I am healthy and happy.”
Use Repetition
The importance of repetition is key. Positive statements need to become imbedded into our subconscious mind. Many times we have been thinking negatively for so long we don’t even notice. First, begin to notice. Then when you hear yourself saying something negative, stop right there and replace the thought with one of your affirmations. We need to repeat these affirmations until they become the first thought. Later on we will talk about various ways to practice affirmations which will help you do just that.
Use Strong Positive Emotions
Affirmations coupled with emotions are particularly powerful. Try to use affirmations that resonate with you. Focus on what you are saying and what the words mean. Don’t just say them in a rote fashion as though repeating your grocery list for instance.
Use Persistence
Not being persistent is one of the reasons that many people say affirmations don’t work. It takes practice and persistence. Regularly practicing will work, but only using affirmations for a short while or just here and there will not produce the results you are looking for in your life. Make it a part of your daily routine. It will become easier the more you practice and when you start to see the results then you won’t want to quit. As they say “don’t stop before the miracle happens.”
Use Belief
However, you don’t necessarily have to believe your affirmations initially. Your belief will grow. It may help to realize that whatever positive affirmation you are using is in actuality true. We already have within us the ability to have the results we desire. The truth is already alive in potentiality just waiting for our permission to manifest.
Here are a few sample affirmations to get you started.
I am free to be myself.
I am free to be at one with the Universe.
I am free of resentment and forgive myself and others.
I am worthy of love.
The more I love, the more that love is returned to me.
Love is eternal and ever-lasting.
I am responsible for my life and always maintain the power I need to be positive and have joy.
I am at peace with the Universe
I love and accept myself.
I am unique and loving, loved, and free.
I am safe and always feel protected.
I am surrounded with loving, caring people in my life as I see them through the eyes of love.
I am loving and accepting of others and this creates lasting friendships for me.
I am trusting of my inner self to lead me in the right path.
I do all I can every day to make a loving environment for all those around me, including myself.
I am always connected with the Divine Love in the Universe.
I am clear and focused through my inner vision.
Allow your life to be blessed. Start creating and using affirmations.
For more ideas and complete instructions on creating and using affirmations, sign up for my free e-course. It’s fun and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. Find a surprise at the end of each lesson.
Author's Bio
Written by Gwen Phillips. Get your free e-course for creating fresh, powerful affirmations and creative ways for using them. Visit http://www.newperspectivetoday.com to sign up
Affirmations Work and Here's Why
by Gwen Phillips
Affirmations work because:
• Our present reality is a direct result of our thinking
• Affirmations change our thinking.
• Changing our thinking, changes our reality
There are many ways you can practice affirmations. You can write them down; you can post sticky notes around your home, on your desk or in your car. You can use affirmations with the "mirror technique". You can use affirmations during meditation and visualization.
Here are some basics you need to know to begin using affirmations:
Use the Present Tense
Affirmations should be stated in the present tense. For example; "I am whole and healthy now." Try not to affirm something in the future tense, as in “I am going to be healthy”. Our subconscious minds will always be waiting for something to happen.
Use Positive Statements
Create affirmations in the most positive terms. Avoid negative statements. State what you do want rather than what you don’t. Don’t say something like “I don’t want to be sick anymore.” Instead state something positive such as “I am healthy and happy.”
Use Repetition
The importance of repetition is key. Positive statements need to become imbedded into our subconscious mind. Many times we have been thinking negatively for so long we don’t even notice. First, begin to notice. Then when you hear yourself saying something negative, stop right there and replace the thought with one of your affirmations. We need to repeat these affirmations until they become the first thought. Later on we will talk about various ways to practice affirmations which will help you do just that.
Use Strong Positive Emotions
Affirmations coupled with emotions are particularly powerful. Try to use affirmations that resonate with you. Focus on what you are saying and what the words mean. Don’t just say them in a rote fashion as though repeating your grocery list for instance.
Use Persistence
Not being persistent is one of the reasons that many people say affirmations don’t work. It takes practice and persistence. Regularly practicing will work, but only using affirmations for a short while or just here and there will not produce the results you are looking for in your life. Make it a part of your daily routine. It will become easier the more you practice and when you start to see the results then you won’t want to quit. As they say “don’t stop before the miracle happens.”
Use Belief
However, you don’t necessarily have to believe your affirmations initially. Your belief will grow. It may help to realize that whatever positive affirmation you are using is in actuality true. We already have within us the ability to have the results we desire. The truth is already alive in potentiality just waiting for our permission to manifest.
Here are a few sample affirmations to get you started.
I am free to be myself.
I am free to be at one with the Universe.
I am free of resentment and forgive myself and others.
I am worthy of love.
The more I love, the more that love is returned to me.
Love is eternal and ever-lasting.
I am responsible for my life and always maintain the power I need to be positive and have joy.
I am at peace with the Universe
I love and accept myself.
I am unique and loving, loved, and free.
I am safe and always feel protected.
I am surrounded with loving, caring people in my life as I see them through the eyes of love.
I am loving and accepting of others and this creates lasting friendships for me.
I am trusting of my inner self to lead me in the right path.
I do all I can every day to make a loving environment for all those around me, including myself.
I am always connected with the Divine Love in the Universe.
I am clear and focused through my inner vision.
Allow your life to be blessed. Start creating and using affirmations.
For more ideas and complete instructions on creating and using affirmations, sign up for my free e-course. It’s fun and I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. Find a surprise at the end of each lesson.
Author's Bio
Written by Gwen Phillips. Get your free e-course for creating fresh, powerful affirmations and creative ways for using them. Visit http://www.newperspectivetoday.com to sign up
Friday, June 18, 2010
To live one day at a time is to harvest life gracefully
To live one day at a time is to harvest life gracefully. Below is a meditation that I use to keep me focus on one day at a time and not to worry about all of the what if's. I hope that this meditation will help you. Purchase this pocket positive book to help you each day to focus on what is important in life and to harvest life gracefully. It helped me tremendously, I am sure it will help you too!
Just for Today
Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,
and not tackle my whole life problem
at once. I can do something for twelve hours
that would appall me if I felt that I had to
keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to
be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that
"most folks are as happy as they make up
their minds to be."
Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind.
I will study. I will learn something useful.
I will not be a mental loafer. I will read
something that requires effort, thought and
concentration.
Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is,
and not try to adjust everything to my own
desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes,
and fit myself to it.
Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three
ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and
not get found out. I will do at least two
things I don't want to--just for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are
hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not
show it
Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look
as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low,
act courteously, criticize not one bit, not
find fault with anything and not try to improve
or regulate anybody except myself.
Just for today, I will have a program. I may not
follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will
save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all
by myself, and relax. During this half hour,
sometime, I will try to get a better perspective
of my life.
Just for today, I will be unafraid. Especially I
will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,
and to believe that as I give to the world, so
the world will give to me.
-Kenneth L. Holmes
Just for Today
Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,
and not tackle my whole life problem
at once. I can do something for twelve hours
that would appall me if I felt that I had to
keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to
be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that
"most folks are as happy as they make up
their minds to be."
Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind.
I will study. I will learn something useful.
I will not be a mental loafer. I will read
something that requires effort, thought and
concentration.
Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is,
and not try to adjust everything to my own
desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes,
and fit myself to it.
Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three
ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and
not get found out. I will do at least two
things I don't want to--just for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are
hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not
show it
Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look
as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low,
act courteously, criticize not one bit, not
find fault with anything and not try to improve
or regulate anybody except myself.
Just for today, I will have a program. I may not
follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will
save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all
by myself, and relax. During this half hour,
sometime, I will try to get a better perspective
of my life.
Just for today, I will be unafraid. Especially I
will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,
and to believe that as I give to the world, so
the world will give to me.
-Kenneth L. Holmes
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
To Forgive is to Harvest Life Gracefully
To forgive is to harvest life gracefully. To live life and feel free is to learn how to forgive the people that has hurt you. This article by David Samuel gives you lots of thoughts and ideas to think about. I also posted a few great books on forgiveness, that I recommend for good reading.
The Truth About Forgiveness - How to Really Forgive Permanently
By David Samuel
Forgiveness is a very popular concept. Everyone who is interested in self healing and personal development is talking about forgiveness and how that is being compassionate etc. However, many people find it difficult or impossible to truly forgive. Some people may think they have forgiven, but a little inquiry and you will find that they still harbor ill feelings. This article will explore why it is so difficult to truly forgive and how to correct that.
Let us say for example, you have had some terrible things done to you by your parents and other people, as many people may say they have. It is even a common expression now for people to get together and talk about how their parents messed them up. Indeed that is true, we are a product of our upbringing, and I deal with that in many other books and articles I have written, but that is not the subject of this article. Here I would like to discuss how the idea of forgiving people is actually counter-productive to your personal growth, freedom and happiness. Why would you need to forgive someone? Because of something they did to hurt you.
That is obvious. However, the question is; 'why are you hurt?' Being hurt is a two part process. First, it is the action that is done by the other person, which in some cases could be God or Mother Nature who rained on your holiday. Second, it is what has been hurt, that is your ego. And this is what we need to work on. If you stick your hand in a snake hole, you are invading its home, making it feel attacked, and it will bite you. Depending on the snake, you may die soon after. Is that the snakes fault? Does the snake need to be forgiven for acting out of instinct and doing what it is designed to do? Whose fault is it really? Every creature has its nature, and it will act according to its nature. You cannot change that, otherwise you are taking the part of God and deciding that you want to change the world you have created. That is a bit arrogant I am sure you will agree. We simple humans have no ability to comprehend the reason and methods of creation in our present conscious state, and so who are you to tell God what He should be doing? I use the word God here merely for simplicity in our discussion, you should take the concept and fit it to whatever force you believe is behind the creation of all things. God is a convenient word to save space and time instead of saying 'The Cosmic Force of All creations, the Beginning-less Beginning, the Cause of All Causes, That incomprehensible Thing which came before all Things and will remain after.' Why do you need to forgive anyone? Because you are hurt. Why are you hurt? Because things did not go the way you wanted them to go. Who are you to tell God how He should have made things or people function?
We all make the big mistake of seeing humans as different than other creatures in nature. You say your mother is not a snake or a dog, she should have known better. That is not true, if you look objectively. Humans have the capacity for higher thinking and conscious actions, but how many actually use that capacity? Not very many at all. People just live by instincts. We are born with our animal instincts for self preservation, procreation and other animal requirements to keep the species alive. In addition to those natural ones, other instincts are developed in our personality as we grow up. I choose the word instincts because it is more accurate than personality or character traits. The reason I say that instincts is a more accurate word, is that although the difference is that an instinct cannot be changed in other than very rare occasions, personality traits should be easy to change, but the reality is that they are not. And so what traits and characteristics we develop as a child are added to our basic instincts and become part of that overpowering force which we are slaves to obey.
Only those few people who have determined that they are fed up enough with their life and want to change have the potential to change those learnt instincts, if they are fortunate enough to receive proper education and training in doing so. The rest of humanity is slave to live out their life ruled by what they have become through no fault of their own. The preceding sentence is all you really need to learn and accept in order to let go of the impossible and purely ego based concept of forgiveness. Being hurt or angry at someone for doing what is their nature to do, that they are helpless to counteract, is saying that you want God to change the world. Even God is limited in His powers, but you want to be more powerful than that, saying that you should be able to stick your hand in the cobra's den and pull out its young babies to play with them, and not get bitten.
Let us prove now that even God is limited. There are rules to the universe. Any scientist will tell you that if certain principles in nature where to change, then the entire universe would collapse. And so God is limited by the very rules that He created. Put simply using a card game of poker as the example, even God cannot beat four aces with a pair of two's. You want to forgive someone who has hurt you, but the true cause of your pain is because you are denying reality. Then who is the fool? There is nothing to forgive but there is much to accept. When you mature enough to accept things as they are, there will be nothing to forgive. Yes, mature is the correct term for all of you who know how an immature child can demand many things and get very upset because they do not understand that they simply cannot have what they want. It is that simple. Your mother did what she did, for example, and you are terribly hurt and suffer. If you would forgive her, then you would be fine, but it is just not possible, you cannot find forgiveness in you in any way. Hard as you try, year after year, try to forgive her, is not possible.
The pain continues, the regret, the repetitive thoughts that she should not have done that, how could she, etc. You suffer and need to forgive her, all the books and teachers tell you that forgiveness is the key, you must forgive in order to move forward in your spiritual growth and emotional healing. But you cannot forgive her and you suffer now even more because she is preventing you from growing and healing. Your life is limited because of her and what she did, even now robbing you of the ability to forgive. Maybe you convince yourself that you have forgiven her but there is still some bitterness or regret or negative thoughts about the pain that linger, and so your forgiving is all in your imagination and not truly completed, and for this you suffer more, you are worse, not better. I am saying that it is not possible to forgive. Forgiveness is an illusion to cover up a selfish ego concept that the world and everyone in it should live and act the way YOU want them to. If you threw a stone at a brick wall, you will hit the wall and maybe chip off some of the stone or bricks, causing permanent damage.
If you threw the very same stone into the sky to hit a cloud, perhaps you even got the stone into the clouds, there would be no damage and the stone would fall right back down to you, having made no effects on the sky or cloud at all. It is you who has become as thick as a brick wall, when in reality your true essence is like a cloud in the sky. Free and pure, without any fixed form, able to come and go without hindrance, and impossible to damage. Stop wasting time and energy trying to forgive someone for doing what they had no choice but to do, and spend that energy on realizing your true nature. In this way, you will have nothing to forgive, yet all will be freed, you will be released and truly healed of your pain. All your pain is due to your behaving like a brick wall, thick and limited, solid and immovable. Find the reality of your nature and release those learned instincts and habits that make you hurt people, and most of all, yourself. There is no one to forgive, there is no need to forgive, there is only the need to see and accept reality. Accepting reality is being objective. Objective people cannot get insulted or hurt because they know that a walk in the rain will get you wet, and so why should you be upset if you get wet for walking in the rain. I do not forgive because there is nothing to forgive.
I accept the reality of the nature of the person. A thief's nature is to steal and that is what he will do. I will learn not to deal with the same thief again. Accepting the reality of the nature of the person and do not give them the opportunity to continue doing what they have done in the past and will most likely repeat in the future. In this way you will not continue to injure yourself and as you stop stabbing the knife in the same place, the wound will heal on its own very quickly. As the old joke goes, man goes to doctor and says it hurts when he lifts his arms above his head, and the doctor says; "So don't do that." There is nothing for forgive, people are what they are, but if it hurts you to expect and want anyone to be different than their nature makes them be, then don't do that. Please visit my forum shown in my signature and get a free copy of my eBook, "Understanding Words An end to Anger and Conflict" We have changed the web site and would like to hear what people think. If you send in your comments, I will reply with another free eBook, "All IS Mind"
http://EntrepreneurMonk.com -- Have No Regrets. Look Forward.
New Articles published twice weekly.
Director of a Focused Forum on Success in all Goals with Exercises and Exclusive Articles.
http://LawOfAttractionForum.net
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Samuel
The Truth About Forgiveness - How to Really Forgive Permanently
By David Samuel
Forgiveness is a very popular concept. Everyone who is interested in self healing and personal development is talking about forgiveness and how that is being compassionate etc. However, many people find it difficult or impossible to truly forgive. Some people may think they have forgiven, but a little inquiry and you will find that they still harbor ill feelings. This article will explore why it is so difficult to truly forgive and how to correct that.
Let us say for example, you have had some terrible things done to you by your parents and other people, as many people may say they have. It is even a common expression now for people to get together and talk about how their parents messed them up. Indeed that is true, we are a product of our upbringing, and I deal with that in many other books and articles I have written, but that is not the subject of this article. Here I would like to discuss how the idea of forgiving people is actually counter-productive to your personal growth, freedom and happiness. Why would you need to forgive someone? Because of something they did to hurt you.
That is obvious. However, the question is; 'why are you hurt?' Being hurt is a two part process. First, it is the action that is done by the other person, which in some cases could be God or Mother Nature who rained on your holiday. Second, it is what has been hurt, that is your ego. And this is what we need to work on. If you stick your hand in a snake hole, you are invading its home, making it feel attacked, and it will bite you. Depending on the snake, you may die soon after. Is that the snakes fault? Does the snake need to be forgiven for acting out of instinct and doing what it is designed to do? Whose fault is it really? Every creature has its nature, and it will act according to its nature. You cannot change that, otherwise you are taking the part of God and deciding that you want to change the world you have created. That is a bit arrogant I am sure you will agree. We simple humans have no ability to comprehend the reason and methods of creation in our present conscious state, and so who are you to tell God what He should be doing? I use the word God here merely for simplicity in our discussion, you should take the concept and fit it to whatever force you believe is behind the creation of all things. God is a convenient word to save space and time instead of saying 'The Cosmic Force of All creations, the Beginning-less Beginning, the Cause of All Causes, That incomprehensible Thing which came before all Things and will remain after.' Why do you need to forgive anyone? Because you are hurt. Why are you hurt? Because things did not go the way you wanted them to go. Who are you to tell God how He should have made things or people function?
We all make the big mistake of seeing humans as different than other creatures in nature. You say your mother is not a snake or a dog, she should have known better. That is not true, if you look objectively. Humans have the capacity for higher thinking and conscious actions, but how many actually use that capacity? Not very many at all. People just live by instincts. We are born with our animal instincts for self preservation, procreation and other animal requirements to keep the species alive. In addition to those natural ones, other instincts are developed in our personality as we grow up. I choose the word instincts because it is more accurate than personality or character traits. The reason I say that instincts is a more accurate word, is that although the difference is that an instinct cannot be changed in other than very rare occasions, personality traits should be easy to change, but the reality is that they are not. And so what traits and characteristics we develop as a child are added to our basic instincts and become part of that overpowering force which we are slaves to obey.
Only those few people who have determined that they are fed up enough with their life and want to change have the potential to change those learnt instincts, if they are fortunate enough to receive proper education and training in doing so. The rest of humanity is slave to live out their life ruled by what they have become through no fault of their own. The preceding sentence is all you really need to learn and accept in order to let go of the impossible and purely ego based concept of forgiveness. Being hurt or angry at someone for doing what is their nature to do, that they are helpless to counteract, is saying that you want God to change the world. Even God is limited in His powers, but you want to be more powerful than that, saying that you should be able to stick your hand in the cobra's den and pull out its young babies to play with them, and not get bitten.
Let us prove now that even God is limited. There are rules to the universe. Any scientist will tell you that if certain principles in nature where to change, then the entire universe would collapse. And so God is limited by the very rules that He created. Put simply using a card game of poker as the example, even God cannot beat four aces with a pair of two's. You want to forgive someone who has hurt you, but the true cause of your pain is because you are denying reality. Then who is the fool? There is nothing to forgive but there is much to accept. When you mature enough to accept things as they are, there will be nothing to forgive. Yes, mature is the correct term for all of you who know how an immature child can demand many things and get very upset because they do not understand that they simply cannot have what they want. It is that simple. Your mother did what she did, for example, and you are terribly hurt and suffer. If you would forgive her, then you would be fine, but it is just not possible, you cannot find forgiveness in you in any way. Hard as you try, year after year, try to forgive her, is not possible.
The pain continues, the regret, the repetitive thoughts that she should not have done that, how could she, etc. You suffer and need to forgive her, all the books and teachers tell you that forgiveness is the key, you must forgive in order to move forward in your spiritual growth and emotional healing. But you cannot forgive her and you suffer now even more because she is preventing you from growing and healing. Your life is limited because of her and what she did, even now robbing you of the ability to forgive. Maybe you convince yourself that you have forgiven her but there is still some bitterness or regret or negative thoughts about the pain that linger, and so your forgiving is all in your imagination and not truly completed, and for this you suffer more, you are worse, not better. I am saying that it is not possible to forgive. Forgiveness is an illusion to cover up a selfish ego concept that the world and everyone in it should live and act the way YOU want them to. If you threw a stone at a brick wall, you will hit the wall and maybe chip off some of the stone or bricks, causing permanent damage.
If you threw the very same stone into the sky to hit a cloud, perhaps you even got the stone into the clouds, there would be no damage and the stone would fall right back down to you, having made no effects on the sky or cloud at all. It is you who has become as thick as a brick wall, when in reality your true essence is like a cloud in the sky. Free and pure, without any fixed form, able to come and go without hindrance, and impossible to damage. Stop wasting time and energy trying to forgive someone for doing what they had no choice but to do, and spend that energy on realizing your true nature. In this way, you will have nothing to forgive, yet all will be freed, you will be released and truly healed of your pain. All your pain is due to your behaving like a brick wall, thick and limited, solid and immovable. Find the reality of your nature and release those learned instincts and habits that make you hurt people, and most of all, yourself. There is no one to forgive, there is no need to forgive, there is only the need to see and accept reality. Accepting reality is being objective. Objective people cannot get insulted or hurt because they know that a walk in the rain will get you wet, and so why should you be upset if you get wet for walking in the rain. I do not forgive because there is nothing to forgive.
I accept the reality of the nature of the person. A thief's nature is to steal and that is what he will do. I will learn not to deal with the same thief again. Accepting the reality of the nature of the person and do not give them the opportunity to continue doing what they have done in the past and will most likely repeat in the future. In this way you will not continue to injure yourself and as you stop stabbing the knife in the same place, the wound will heal on its own very quickly. As the old joke goes, man goes to doctor and says it hurts when he lifts his arms above his head, and the doctor says; "So don't do that." There is nothing for forgive, people are what they are, but if it hurts you to expect and want anyone to be different than their nature makes them be, then don't do that. Please visit my forum shown in my signature and get a free copy of my eBook, "Understanding Words An end to Anger and Conflict" We have changed the web site and would like to hear what people think. If you send in your comments, I will reply with another free eBook, "All IS Mind"
http://EntrepreneurMonk.com -- Have No Regrets. Look Forward.
New Articles published twice weekly.
Director of a Focused Forum on Success in all Goals with Exercises and Exclusive Articles.
http://LawOfAttractionForum.net
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Samuel
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Finding and defining your purpose in life is to Harvest Life Gracefully
Finding and defining your purpose in life is to Harvest Life Gracefully.
Often time I am sure we all ask ourselves why are we here? What is our purpose.
This article that I am posting will help you how to find your purpose.
Go ahead and harvest life gracefully by finding your purpose. Harvest Life Gracefully recommend this book in helping anybody that is looking for their purpose in life.
Have you ever wondered how to even define purpose, much less how to find your life purpose? Well, my hope is that this article will help you do both.
There is two parts to Purpose: Being and Doing.
Being dictates who you are. It's your identity. Doing dictates what you've been called & designed to do.
So here is my definition of Purpose:
When you find a Role where you do what you love to do and use what you're great at doing to become a solution to problems that you feel called to fix. That's where you will find your purpose.
It's that one sweet spot where these 4 things intersect: Passions, Talents, Needs & Calling.
Passions:
Passions are the fuel for your life. When you are doing something you are passionate about it will wake you up in the morning quicker than a strong cup of the old Starbucks Coffee. When it comes to Purpose, your Passions answer the question "What" What should I be doing I my life to be satisfied?
Talents
Talents are those things you do easily that others with they could do like you. The funny thing is that when people say to you they wish they could do what you do, you laugh at them because it comes so easy to you; you figure everyone else can do it just as easily. The truth is, your talents are given specifically to you. To make a difference in this world! Talents answer the question "How" How can I make the greatest amount of change with the least amount of effort?
Needs
Needs are the third essential component in finding your life purpose. Why needs? You don't have Passions & Talents for nothing! You have the previous two things because you have been designed for a role where you will do what you love to do and use what you're great at doing to become a solution to problems! Needs answer the question "Where" Where will I make the greatest contribution in life? Purpose isn't just about you having a satisfying life. Purpose is actually about you serving, or contributing to the betterment of the world. So instead of being one of those people who just complain about problems. Become a problem solver! And how do you actually do this? Hint...hint....You only use your talents to become a solution to the problems you see. Again...your talents come easy to you. You perform nearly perfect every single time. So you use what comes easy to you to fix problems and since you're great at what you do. You'll fix these problems easy & fast!
Calling
Finally, there's Calling. Sometimes we can spend out whole life devoted to the wrong thing. I personally believe in a God who calls people to do great things with their lives. Calling is the last component because you pay attention to what God is calling you to devote your life to. Why? Because when you're working with him. It will all work out in the end!
So that's how define purpose & go about finding it at the same time.
RK Castillo has helped nearly 300,000 people start their journey to finding their purpose. Click this link If you'd like to answer the question What is My Purpose. Or here's another article where you can learn how to Define Purpose in your life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=RK_Castillo
Often time I am sure we all ask ourselves why are we here? What is our purpose.
This article that I am posting will help you how to find your purpose.
Go ahead and harvest life gracefully by finding your purpose. Harvest Life Gracefully recommend this book in helping anybody that is looking for their purpose in life.
Have you ever wondered how to even define purpose, much less how to find your life purpose? Well, my hope is that this article will help you do both.
There is two parts to Purpose: Being and Doing.
Being dictates who you are. It's your identity. Doing dictates what you've been called & designed to do.
So here is my definition of Purpose:
When you find a Role where you do what you love to do and use what you're great at doing to become a solution to problems that you feel called to fix. That's where you will find your purpose.
It's that one sweet spot where these 4 things intersect: Passions, Talents, Needs & Calling.
Passions:
Passions are the fuel for your life. When you are doing something you are passionate about it will wake you up in the morning quicker than a strong cup of the old Starbucks Coffee. When it comes to Purpose, your Passions answer the question "What" What should I be doing I my life to be satisfied?
Talents
Talents are those things you do easily that others with they could do like you. The funny thing is that when people say to you they wish they could do what you do, you laugh at them because it comes so easy to you; you figure everyone else can do it just as easily. The truth is, your talents are given specifically to you. To make a difference in this world! Talents answer the question "How" How can I make the greatest amount of change with the least amount of effort?
Needs
Needs are the third essential component in finding your life purpose. Why needs? You don't have Passions & Talents for nothing! You have the previous two things because you have been designed for a role where you will do what you love to do and use what you're great at doing to become a solution to problems! Needs answer the question "Where" Where will I make the greatest contribution in life? Purpose isn't just about you having a satisfying life. Purpose is actually about you serving, or contributing to the betterment of the world. So instead of being one of those people who just complain about problems. Become a problem solver! And how do you actually do this? Hint...hint....You only use your talents to become a solution to the problems you see. Again...your talents come easy to you. You perform nearly perfect every single time. So you use what comes easy to you to fix problems and since you're great at what you do. You'll fix these problems easy & fast!
Calling
Finally, there's Calling. Sometimes we can spend out whole life devoted to the wrong thing. I personally believe in a God who calls people to do great things with their lives. Calling is the last component because you pay attention to what God is calling you to devote your life to. Why? Because when you're working with him. It will all work out in the end!
So that's how define purpose & go about finding it at the same time.
RK Castillo has helped nearly 300,000 people start their journey to finding their purpose. Click this link If you'd like to answer the question What is My Purpose. Or here's another article where you can learn how to Define Purpose in your life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=RK_Castillo
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
You can harvest life gracefully when helping an emotional abused women
You can harvest life gracefully when helping a women who is being emotional abused. The tips below are helpful in helping.
Responding to Emotional Abuse: How You Can Help Someone You Know
Violence against women, or woman abuse, happens to more women than we think. Most women who are physically assaulted by their intimate partners are emotionally abused. However, not all women who are emotionally abused, are physically abused. It is likely that you know a woman who is being emotionally abused by her partner. It could be your friend, sister, neighbour or co-worker. Whatever your relationship to an abused woman, it is difficult to admit that someone you care about its being abused. Very often, people want to help, but do not know how. If you know a woman who is being emotionally abused, and want to help, these are some things you can do:
1. Gather information about emotional abuse and the resources available.
You don't have to solve the problem, but you can provide support and information.
Look in the front of your phone book for the crisis line or women's shelter for services in your area.
Get information on emotional abuse so you can understand what she is going through.
If the woman does not speak English, there may be services in her language, or cultural interpreters available.
If the woman has a disability, or is deaf, make sure you refer her to appropriate services.
2. Recognize that emotional abuse has as much, if not more, of an impact on a woman's overall health and well being as physical violence.
She may become ill, depressed, anxious, or use alcohol or drugs to cope. If she has a disability, it may get worse due to the abuse.
Encourage her to take care of herself. She may want to speak to her family doctor or a counsellor who deals with woman abuse.
If she has children, it may be difficult for her to go out on her own. You could assist her with child-care so she can attend appointments or have some time to herself.
3. Assure her that you believe her and that you take emotional abuse seriously.
Listen and be understanding. Encourage her to talk about what she is experiencing.
Let her know you will keep what she has told you private.
Let her know that you are concerned for her safety and well being and want to provide support. Never tell her that she is lucky that she is not being hit.
4. Do not blame her or make excuses for her partner.
Alcohol or drug use, a job loss, or a bad childhood does not cause abuse.
Having a disability or living with someone who has a disability is not a justification for abuse.
The family's cultural or spiritual beliefs are not the cause of the emotional abuse. Woman abuse happens in all cultures.
Understand that it is normal for an abused woman to deny what is happening, or make excuses for her partner.
Encourage her to understand there is no excuse for any form of abuse.
5. Support her to be safe.
Understand that emotionally abusive partners also commit physical assault, murder, or murder-suicide. An abused woman is at most risk of being killed when leaving her partner.
Take her fears seriously. She may have been threatened by her partner and be fearful of him.
Let her know that she can go to a shelter for abused women.
Suggest that she develop a safety plan.
Encourage her to learn about her legal rights and the rights of her children.
6. Ask her how you can help.
Do not take over. Her partner already controls her.
Remember that she will make the decisions that are best for her.
7. Help her to recognize her strengths and feel better about herself.
Women who are abused demonstrate incredible strength when they balance the everyday demands of life, such as home, children, work and school.
A woman's self-confidence and esteem may have been greatly eroded by emotional abuse.
She may believe that she cannot make it on her own.
She may start by taking steps towards independence, such as going back to school or getting a job.
Encourage her to set small and realistic goals.
8. Respect her decisions and support her if she stays. A woman may not want to leave her partner, even if you think that is what is best for her.
Many people do not understand how difficult it is to leave an abusive partner. Do not tell her that you would have left a long time ago.
She may lose her home, car, farm and farm animals, and financial support for herself and her children if she leaves.
She could be isolated from her cultural community. She may not speak English and be fearful of being on her own.
She may not have access to physical supports she needs to be on her own.
Understand that abusers often use children or threaten to abduct their children if she talks about leaving.
Respect her decisions and tell her she will not lose your support if she stays.
Recognize that identifying emotional abuse is the first step, and that it may take time for her to make changes in her life.
Responding to Emotional Abuse: How You Can Help Someone You Know
Violence against women, or woman abuse, happens to more women than we think. Most women who are physically assaulted by their intimate partners are emotionally abused. However, not all women who are emotionally abused, are physically abused. It is likely that you know a woman who is being emotionally abused by her partner. It could be your friend, sister, neighbour or co-worker. Whatever your relationship to an abused woman, it is difficult to admit that someone you care about its being abused. Very often, people want to help, but do not know how. If you know a woman who is being emotionally abused, and want to help, these are some things you can do:
1. Gather information about emotional abuse and the resources available.
You don't have to solve the problem, but you can provide support and information.
Look in the front of your phone book for the crisis line or women's shelter for services in your area.
Get information on emotional abuse so you can understand what she is going through.
If the woman does not speak English, there may be services in her language, or cultural interpreters available.
If the woman has a disability, or is deaf, make sure you refer her to appropriate services.
2. Recognize that emotional abuse has as much, if not more, of an impact on a woman's overall health and well being as physical violence.
She may become ill, depressed, anxious, or use alcohol or drugs to cope. If she has a disability, it may get worse due to the abuse.
Encourage her to take care of herself. She may want to speak to her family doctor or a counsellor who deals with woman abuse.
If she has children, it may be difficult for her to go out on her own. You could assist her with child-care so she can attend appointments or have some time to herself.
3. Assure her that you believe her and that you take emotional abuse seriously.
Listen and be understanding. Encourage her to talk about what she is experiencing.
Let her know you will keep what she has told you private.
Let her know that you are concerned for her safety and well being and want to provide support. Never tell her that she is lucky that she is not being hit.
4. Do not blame her or make excuses for her partner.
Alcohol or drug use, a job loss, or a bad childhood does not cause abuse.
Having a disability or living with someone who has a disability is not a justification for abuse.
The family's cultural or spiritual beliefs are not the cause of the emotional abuse. Woman abuse happens in all cultures.
Understand that it is normal for an abused woman to deny what is happening, or make excuses for her partner.
Encourage her to understand there is no excuse for any form of abuse.
5. Support her to be safe.
Understand that emotionally abusive partners also commit physical assault, murder, or murder-suicide. An abused woman is at most risk of being killed when leaving her partner.
Take her fears seriously. She may have been threatened by her partner and be fearful of him.
Let her know that she can go to a shelter for abused women.
Suggest that she develop a safety plan.
Encourage her to learn about her legal rights and the rights of her children.
6. Ask her how you can help.
Do not take over. Her partner already controls her.
Remember that she will make the decisions that are best for her.
7. Help her to recognize her strengths and feel better about herself.
Women who are abused demonstrate incredible strength when they balance the everyday demands of life, such as home, children, work and school.
A woman's self-confidence and esteem may have been greatly eroded by emotional abuse.
She may believe that she cannot make it on her own.
She may start by taking steps towards independence, such as going back to school or getting a job.
Encourage her to set small and realistic goals.
8. Respect her decisions and support her if she stays. A woman may not want to leave her partner, even if you think that is what is best for her.
Many people do not understand how difficult it is to leave an abusive partner. Do not tell her that you would have left a long time ago.
She may lose her home, car, farm and farm animals, and financial support for herself and her children if she leaves.
She could be isolated from her cultural community. She may not speak English and be fearful of being on her own.
She may not have access to physical supports she needs to be on her own.
Understand that abusers often use children or threaten to abduct their children if she talks about leaving.
Respect her decisions and tell her she will not lose your support if she stays.
Recognize that identifying emotional abuse is the first step, and that it may take time for her to make changes in her life.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully tips on how not to forget to remove your baby from the car
Harvest Life Gracefully follow these steps and you will never forget to remove your child from the car. This will avoid unnecessary harm or deaths of children.
How to Remember to Remove Your Baby from the Car
nethopperz Member
By nethopperz, eHow Member
I am heartbroken each time I watch the news and learn that another parent has forgotten their baby in the car and returned to find that something horrible has happened. I will be a parent soon and these are the things that keep me awake at night. After careful thought, I would like to offer some free and relatively easy solutions that may help new parents to overcome unexpected diversions that too often direct your attention away from your baby.
Step 1
Develop a new routine to always check the back seat of a vehicle before you leave it, whether it is yours or not. Another important thing to do when you approach a vehicle is to look completely around it for hidden obstructions like children or toys. When you reach your destination and exit the vehicle, immediately open the back door and look into the back seat. Do this whether you know that you have your baby in the car or not. It is imperative that this becomes a habit for both parents and for anyone who will ever transport your child. If you are certain that you dropped the child off at the daycare or if you know that today is not your day to drive them, remember... making a careless mistake on the wrong day has needlessly cost the lives of too many young children.
Step 2
If you are an employer, you have the ability and should make it a priority to watch after employees who transport young children prior to coming to work. Designate several rows of parking spaces for parents only. Have a few people routinely walk through the parking lot each morning to check those cars for forgotten children. This is a perfect job for security guards whose job is to patrol the parking lot anyway. Offer them an incentive to perform these checks. Also, post signs in the entrance of your building with a reminder about leaving small children in vehicles unattended.
Step 3
Become better acquainted with your co-workers and develop a habit of asking other parents of young children how their children were doing this morning and what color shirt did their teacher have on this morning. Just that type of reminder may cause a person to remember that they never actually dropped the child off. Pay attention to small details. When you walk into the building from the parking lot, keep an eye out for car seats and casually look into cars as you walk past.
Step 4
What's in your backseat?
For the parents of small children who take them to daycare daily, be sure that your daycare has a list of emergency numbers, including several work numbers. Ask that they call each number and let someone know if you have not dropped your child off with them after a certain time. Check your cell phone each morning after arriving at work to be sure nobody has left messages for you. If you use Microsoft Outlook, set daily reminders asking whether you remembered your child. If you carry a briefcase with you to work, always put it in the back seat in the floor beside your child's car seat. That way, you will have to open the back door to retrieve it and you may discover an important surprise when you least expect it.
Step 5
Hopefully, some of these tips will help parents to remember what is most important. If work becomes too stressful and you have difficulty focusing on the things that you are supposed to do, stop for a moment. Take a deep breath. Exhale slowly and ask yourself, "Why am I at work?" Your most obvious response is "to make money." Why do you need money? To take care of your family because they are important to you. Do not forget this! Take an extra 10 seconds out of your hectic morning commute to simply check the back seat of your car!
Step 6
If you are a parent and you are reading this article at work, stop what you are doing and go check your car. Do it right now! Tell your boss that you need a breath of fresh air. If this article helps save just one child, then it will be the most important thing I've ever written for this website.
How to Remember to Remove Your Baby from the Car
nethopperz Member
By nethopperz, eHow Member
I am heartbroken each time I watch the news and learn that another parent has forgotten their baby in the car and returned to find that something horrible has happened. I will be a parent soon and these are the things that keep me awake at night. After careful thought, I would like to offer some free and relatively easy solutions that may help new parents to overcome unexpected diversions that too often direct your attention away from your baby.
Step 1
Develop a new routine to always check the back seat of a vehicle before you leave it, whether it is yours or not. Another important thing to do when you approach a vehicle is to look completely around it for hidden obstructions like children or toys. When you reach your destination and exit the vehicle, immediately open the back door and look into the back seat. Do this whether you know that you have your baby in the car or not. It is imperative that this becomes a habit for both parents and for anyone who will ever transport your child. If you are certain that you dropped the child off at the daycare or if you know that today is not your day to drive them, remember... making a careless mistake on the wrong day has needlessly cost the lives of too many young children.
Step 2
If you are an employer, you have the ability and should make it a priority to watch after employees who transport young children prior to coming to work. Designate several rows of parking spaces for parents only. Have a few people routinely walk through the parking lot each morning to check those cars for forgotten children. This is a perfect job for security guards whose job is to patrol the parking lot anyway. Offer them an incentive to perform these checks. Also, post signs in the entrance of your building with a reminder about leaving small children in vehicles unattended.
Step 3
Become better acquainted with your co-workers and develop a habit of asking other parents of young children how their children were doing this morning and what color shirt did their teacher have on this morning. Just that type of reminder may cause a person to remember that they never actually dropped the child off. Pay attention to small details. When you walk into the building from the parking lot, keep an eye out for car seats and casually look into cars as you walk past.
Step 4
What's in your backseat?
For the parents of small children who take them to daycare daily, be sure that your daycare has a list of emergency numbers, including several work numbers. Ask that they call each number and let someone know if you have not dropped your child off with them after a certain time. Check your cell phone each morning after arriving at work to be sure nobody has left messages for you. If you use Microsoft Outlook, set daily reminders asking whether you remembered your child. If you carry a briefcase with you to work, always put it in the back seat in the floor beside your child's car seat. That way, you will have to open the back door to retrieve it and you may discover an important surprise when you least expect it.
Step 5
Hopefully, some of these tips will help parents to remember what is most important. If work becomes too stressful and you have difficulty focusing on the things that you are supposed to do, stop for a moment. Take a deep breath. Exhale slowly and ask yourself, "Why am I at work?" Your most obvious response is "to make money." Why do you need money? To take care of your family because they are important to you. Do not forget this! Take an extra 10 seconds out of your hectic morning commute to simply check the back seat of your car!
Step 6
If you are a parent and you are reading this article at work, stop what you are doing and go check your car. Do it right now! Tell your boss that you need a breath of fresh air. If this article helps save just one child, then it will be the most important thing I've ever written for this website.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully by keeping your children safe
Harvest life gracefully by keeping your children safe. This article gives you excellent advice on how to keep your children safe.
This article is from Time.com By Jessica Reaves.
How to Keep Your Child Safe
It's every parent's worst nightmare: A child is snatched from the playground in broad daylight never to be seen or heard from again. And it feels like it's happening all the time. But while it may seem like we are in the midst of a kidnapping epidemic, the truth is much less scary. According to data from the U.S. Justice Department and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC), kidnappings are on the decline.
Each year, between 200 and 300 kids are taken in "stereotypical" kidnappings (i.e. grabbed from their homes or playgrounds and then murdered or held for ransom), and 50 to 150 are murdered. Officials expect this year's total number to dip to near 100, hopefully dragging down the murder rate accordingly. And despite what you might reasonably think after hearing the terrible stories of Elizabeth Smart (who was returned safely home more than nine months after her abduction) and Samantha Runnion, the specter of kidnapping by strangers should not be parents' primary concern; parents themselves perpetrate more than 98 percent of all kidnappings, according to the DOJ. While about 700,000 missing children reports were filed in 2001, only a tiny percentage of those cases were non-family abductions. And here's one piece of positive news: 94 percent of kidnapped children are returned to their parents.
But even as the number of kidnappings declines, and the statistical probability of kidnapping grows smaller, parents continue to be understandably anxious. How can I protect my child? How can I make sure that my child is alert without scaring him too much?
When a stranger approaches
Ernie Allen, president of the NCMEC, understands and applauds the impulse to educate our children, and urges parents to be alert without giving in to fear. He admits it's a tough line to walk. "We need to be prepared, to think about every eventuality, but we don't want to dwell on the worst that could happen," he says. "We don't want to terrify our kids or leave ourselves paralyzed with fear." Here, Allen offers some suggestions for parents.
Know where your kids are, especially young children.
Don't let them go out alone; there is safety in numbers.
Know who they're with.
Speak openly with them about their safety.
Practice what you talk about; go over scenarios and ask your kids what they would do.
We need to empower our children, says Allen. "We need to rethink what we've told our kids over the years." "Don't take candy from strangers" is good advice. But in the vast majority of non-family abductions, perpetrators don't fit kids' idea of a "stranger" — they're not necessarily scary or creepy.
The NCMEC has a "No, Go, Tell" plan for kids, which goes like this:
Kids have the right to say no. If a grown-up comes to a child asking for help looking for a puppy or for directions, the child should get a trusted adult to help instead.
Kids don't have to be polite. We put a huge premium on making sure our kids are polite to a fault, especially to adults, and that translates into: "do what the man says."
Communicate. If a child feels frightened, they should be encouraged to talk with a trusted person: mom, dad, counselor or teacher. The message for parents? Listen to your kids.
Here are a few facts about non-family abductors: They tend to be male, and, despite the "dirty old man" tag, most are younger than 35 and of average or above average intelligence. In an overwhelming number of cases, their motives are sexual. Most are not true strangers to the children they take; they target one child and seek their confidence, often by developing a casual relationship with them.
All in the family
Beyond the terrifying sketch-artist renderings of anonymous kidnappers, there is the grim reality of family abductors, who make up the vast majority of kidnapping offenders.
If you're dealing with a messy custody battle, or you fear a member of your family may be planning to abduct your child, Allen emphasizes that there are things you can do:
Keep the lines of communication open and establish an atmosphere in your home that encourages kids to talk to you about what's going on in their lives.
Teach your children your telephone number and area code, teach them how to contact you or close friends.
Tell them you love them and that you always want to see them, no matter what anybody else tells them.
Most family-member abductions happen only after the offender has talked about taking a child, so it's important, says Allen, to pay attention to what you consider threats.
If you identify a family member who talks about taking a child, collect and keep pertinent information (social security numbers, credit cards, etc.) about them on hand.
Address the legal issues: have a valid custody order, don't just assume anything.
And finally, one last piece of advice for all parents, courtesy of the NCMEC: Take lots of pictures of your kids. Photos work when it comes to finding children, says Allen, and it's very important for families to have recent, full-face photos of their children, as well as accurate information about their hair color, weight, height and any distinguishing physical characteristics. Parents may also want to keep dental and medical records on hand in a safe place. This can speed up the process, and this is a situation where every hour counts. Seventy-four percent of abducted children who are murdered are killed within the first three hours of their kidnapping.
Read more: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,321889,00.html#ixzz0pBj6a3iT
This article is from Time.com By Jessica Reaves.
How to Keep Your Child Safe
It's every parent's worst nightmare: A child is snatched from the playground in broad daylight never to be seen or heard from again. And it feels like it's happening all the time. But while it may seem like we are in the midst of a kidnapping epidemic, the truth is much less scary. According to data from the U.S. Justice Department and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC), kidnappings are on the decline.
Each year, between 200 and 300 kids are taken in "stereotypical" kidnappings (i.e. grabbed from their homes or playgrounds and then murdered or held for ransom), and 50 to 150 are murdered. Officials expect this year's total number to dip to near 100, hopefully dragging down the murder rate accordingly. And despite what you might reasonably think after hearing the terrible stories of Elizabeth Smart (who was returned safely home more than nine months after her abduction) and Samantha Runnion, the specter of kidnapping by strangers should not be parents' primary concern; parents themselves perpetrate more than 98 percent of all kidnappings, according to the DOJ. While about 700,000 missing children reports were filed in 2001, only a tiny percentage of those cases were non-family abductions. And here's one piece of positive news: 94 percent of kidnapped children are returned to their parents.
But even as the number of kidnappings declines, and the statistical probability of kidnapping grows smaller, parents continue to be understandably anxious. How can I protect my child? How can I make sure that my child is alert without scaring him too much?
When a stranger approaches
Ernie Allen, president of the NCMEC, understands and applauds the impulse to educate our children, and urges parents to be alert without giving in to fear. He admits it's a tough line to walk. "We need to be prepared, to think about every eventuality, but we don't want to dwell on the worst that could happen," he says. "We don't want to terrify our kids or leave ourselves paralyzed with fear." Here, Allen offers some suggestions for parents.
Know where your kids are, especially young children.
Don't let them go out alone; there is safety in numbers.
Know who they're with.
Speak openly with them about their safety.
Practice what you talk about; go over scenarios and ask your kids what they would do.
We need to empower our children, says Allen. "We need to rethink what we've told our kids over the years." "Don't take candy from strangers" is good advice. But in the vast majority of non-family abductions, perpetrators don't fit kids' idea of a "stranger" — they're not necessarily scary or creepy.
The NCMEC has a "No, Go, Tell" plan for kids, which goes like this:
Kids have the right to say no. If a grown-up comes to a child asking for help looking for a puppy or for directions, the child should get a trusted adult to help instead.
Kids don't have to be polite. We put a huge premium on making sure our kids are polite to a fault, especially to adults, and that translates into: "do what the man says."
Communicate. If a child feels frightened, they should be encouraged to talk with a trusted person: mom, dad, counselor or teacher. The message for parents? Listen to your kids.
Here are a few facts about non-family abductors: They tend to be male, and, despite the "dirty old man" tag, most are younger than 35 and of average or above average intelligence. In an overwhelming number of cases, their motives are sexual. Most are not true strangers to the children they take; they target one child and seek their confidence, often by developing a casual relationship with them.
All in the family
Beyond the terrifying sketch-artist renderings of anonymous kidnappers, there is the grim reality of family abductors, who make up the vast majority of kidnapping offenders.
If you're dealing with a messy custody battle, or you fear a member of your family may be planning to abduct your child, Allen emphasizes that there are things you can do:
Keep the lines of communication open and establish an atmosphere in your home that encourages kids to talk to you about what's going on in their lives.
Teach your children your telephone number and area code, teach them how to contact you or close friends.
Tell them you love them and that you always want to see them, no matter what anybody else tells them.
Most family-member abductions happen only after the offender has talked about taking a child, so it's important, says Allen, to pay attention to what you consider threats.
If you identify a family member who talks about taking a child, collect and keep pertinent information (social security numbers, credit cards, etc.) about them on hand.
Address the legal issues: have a valid custody order, don't just assume anything.
And finally, one last piece of advice for all parents, courtesy of the NCMEC: Take lots of pictures of your kids. Photos work when it comes to finding children, says Allen, and it's very important for families to have recent, full-face photos of their children, as well as accurate information about their hair color, weight, height and any distinguishing physical characteristics. Parents may also want to keep dental and medical records on hand in a safe place. This can speed up the process, and this is a situation where every hour counts. Seventy-four percent of abducted children who are murdered are killed within the first three hours of their kidnapping.
Read more: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,321889,00.html#ixzz0pBj6a3iT
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully by accepting your parents and forgiving them for their errors
Harvest Life Gracefully by forgiving your parents for their own trials and errors. When we look back at how our parents raised us, there are so many of us who had expectations of what our parents should or should not have done. These expectations can cause us to have bitterness and anger directed towards them. We have the tendency to forget that they are human beings trying to survive in this world with the skills and tools which they had learned. Some has better skills, others don't it all depends on what was taught and learned. We are products from our own learning experiences. I found the article below that will give you food for thought on this subject manner.
Parenting Tips on the Ability to Forgive and Reconcile
By Kim Siang Ng
Do not let children grow up thinking it is okay to be bitter or angry with their parents or worse, hate their parents. As parent, you do not plant the seeds of bitterness or anger in the mind of your children by pouring your bitterness or unhappiness onto your children. Instead show your children the greatness of togetherness by taking them to visit their grandparents or have meals together on a regular basis. Single parent is more prone to affect the young mind of their children by telling them events or incidents committed by the other parent that had hurt the single parent's feelings. Problems or issues between the parents are best kept amongst themselves and not turn to their children. It is not fair for either of the parents to expect their children to take side or sympathize with either of them.
As children, we were taught to love, respect and be filial to our parents. We are required to respect our parents from time immemorial just simply because they are our parents! Take note that we are not taught to respect "good", "perfect", "wonderful", "nice", "great" or "fantastic" parents. No human is perfect in this world and our parents are just ordinary human beings, so they do make mistakes and errors in their life.
It saddens me to see that the relationship between parents and children can turn so terribly wrong sometimes. Whatever that had happened in the past, there must be something that the children can be grateful for. What about the parental care given to the children while they were still infants? At the minimum, any parent would have invested money and considerable efforts in bringing up their children and provide their children with certain levels of education to make their children what they are today. Furthermore, these children were well taken care of to become a healthy adult today. Even if our parents had failed us miserably in the past, just treat them as they are today and forgive them for their past.
The children must not let the anger blinds their eyes so much that they failed to see the kindness that they have received from their parents. They must not be so ungrateful that they took things for granted. There is no point in keeping negative memories of the past. One cannot keep all these negative emotions bottled up and remain unforgiving forever.
During their twilight years, the parents welcome their children's presence and company more than anything else. A visit by their children will bring them warmth and comfort to their hearts and tears of joy. No matter what had happened in the past, choose forgiveness and reconciliation rather than animosity.
Ng Kim Siang
He is a Systems Analyst by profession and has spent a large part of his career managing large technology projects in the Banking industry. He holds a Master in Business Administration from the University of Bath UK and is currently pursuing a Diploma on Pre-School Educator Course. Visit his website now to discover more... http://www.TipsToEnrichYourLife.com/parenting
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kim_Siang_Ng
Parenting Tips on the Ability to Forgive and Reconcile
By Kim Siang Ng
Do not let children grow up thinking it is okay to be bitter or angry with their parents or worse, hate their parents. As parent, you do not plant the seeds of bitterness or anger in the mind of your children by pouring your bitterness or unhappiness onto your children. Instead show your children the greatness of togetherness by taking them to visit their grandparents or have meals together on a regular basis. Single parent is more prone to affect the young mind of their children by telling them events or incidents committed by the other parent that had hurt the single parent's feelings. Problems or issues between the parents are best kept amongst themselves and not turn to their children. It is not fair for either of the parents to expect their children to take side or sympathize with either of them.
As children, we were taught to love, respect and be filial to our parents. We are required to respect our parents from time immemorial just simply because they are our parents! Take note that we are not taught to respect "good", "perfect", "wonderful", "nice", "great" or "fantastic" parents. No human is perfect in this world and our parents are just ordinary human beings, so they do make mistakes and errors in their life.
It saddens me to see that the relationship between parents and children can turn so terribly wrong sometimes. Whatever that had happened in the past, there must be something that the children can be grateful for. What about the parental care given to the children while they were still infants? At the minimum, any parent would have invested money and considerable efforts in bringing up their children and provide their children with certain levels of education to make their children what they are today. Furthermore, these children were well taken care of to become a healthy adult today. Even if our parents had failed us miserably in the past, just treat them as they are today and forgive them for their past.
The children must not let the anger blinds their eyes so much that they failed to see the kindness that they have received from their parents. They must not be so ungrateful that they took things for granted. There is no point in keeping negative memories of the past. One cannot keep all these negative emotions bottled up and remain unforgiving forever.
During their twilight years, the parents welcome their children's presence and company more than anything else. A visit by their children will bring them warmth and comfort to their hearts and tears of joy. No matter what had happened in the past, choose forgiveness and reconciliation rather than animosity.
Ng Kim Siang
He is a Systems Analyst by profession and has spent a large part of his career managing large technology projects in the Banking industry. He holds a Master in Business Administration from the University of Bath UK and is currently pursuing a Diploma on Pre-School Educator Course. Visit his website now to discover more... http://www.TipsToEnrichYourLife.com/parenting
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kim_Siang_Ng
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully understanding sexual abuse
Harvest Life Gracefully, watching this video will give you a better understanding of childhood sexual abuse. It describe exactly what a child feels, and why it is so difficult for them to tell.
The speaker in this video is a survivor of sexual abuse and does a very good job in telling what a child goes through. I recommend this video to anyone that knows of a survivor or has experience child hood sexual abuse. Very Helpful! I recommend these books for help and support.
Excellent reading.
The speaker in this video is a survivor of sexual abuse and does a very good job in telling what a child goes through. I recommend this video to anyone that knows of a survivor or has experience child hood sexual abuse. Very Helpful! I recommend these books for help and support.
Excellent reading.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully Blog Talk Radio about positive parenting
Harvest Life Gracefully by listening to Blog Talk Radio on the principals on positive parenting.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully, positive parenting tips
Harvest Life Gracefully, some tips for positive parenting
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tips for Positive Parenting
May 20, 2010 by Leslie Leyland Fields for Beliefnet
Many parents today feel overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and guilt. I am convinced that many of our struggles come from believing that it is our job to be perfect parents. But we don't need to get caught up in false beliefs that cause stress and worry. Read the eight truths about parenting that will free you to be a more positive parent.
Leslie Leyland Fields is a mother of six and author of "Parenting Is Your Highest Calling, and Eight Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt" (Waterbrook). She lives in Kodiak, Alaska.
1. You May Not Feel Loving Every Minute
Before we have children, we believe we’ll always love them unconditionally. But it’s not too many years after they arrive that the I-love-you/you-love-me-back arrangement is gone. In the hard times, we can easily jump to the wrong conclusion: I don’t feel loving toward my child, therefore I must not love my child.
The question is not, “Am I feeling loving toward my child?” but “Am I being loving toward my child?” If we’re supporting, encouraging, and disciplining our kids--if we're committed to their highest good--we are loving them. Don't worry about fluctuating feelings.
2. We Don't Need to Obsess Over Success
Increasingly, parents seem to measure their success by the achievements of their children. But this current obsession is leading to all kinds of excesses, including overscheduling and overprotection. We need to let go of our obsession with success, both for our sakes and our children’s. Our children need breathing room, unstructured play time, and the ability to make mistakes and learn from them. Most of all, we need to value and love our children not for their achievements, but simply for who they are.
3. Our Kids Have Their Own Purpose
Before we became parents, many of us believed that children would bring us happiness, fulfillment, as well as tons of fun! We soon discover that these moments do arrive, but along with them come many moments of, well, not so much fun. All parents feel surprised at how much work parenting is. But in many ways we receive more than we give. Children teach us how little we know—the beginning of real wisdom. Children expand our hearts. They free us from our self-focus and open us to the needs and love of others. Children don’t exist to fulfill us. Ultimately, they are here to find their own purpose and to contribute to the world in some way.
4. There's No Parenting Formula
While there are many helpful parenting books out there, some offer formulaic models based on behavior modification, obedience training, and rigid discipline. The underlying assumptions: we should be in control of our children at all times, and children shouldn’t mess up our lives. Raising children is inherently messy, thrilling, and unpredictable. Parenting "experts" and "one size fits all" parenting formulas cannot raise our children for us. We raise our children. Our children are too complex, creative, and unique to be raised by recipes or formulas.
5. We Don't Have to Buy Them Happiness
We often think the best measurement of our parenting skill is how happy our children are. Toward this goal, we put TVs in our kids’ rooms, go into debt for lavish birthday parties and vacations, and fix the foods our children clamor for instead of what they need. Our job as parents is not to make our children happy, but to help them become good people—compassionate, honest, responsible, hard-working. When a 10-year-old already obsessed with video games asks for an iPod, or a 16-year-old wants us to buy him a car, we may need to say no. The 10-year-old needs to gain some maturity and discipline; the 16-year-old could earn the money for a car. Our job is to help our children distinguish between their short-term happiness and the long-term good of their character.
6. Is Not Our Only Calling
Yes, we are called to love our families, but also to love our neighbors. When we focus exclusively on our children, we risk turning them into idols. Our children can grow up oblivious to others’ needs and the needs of the planet, believing they are the center of the universe. Enjoy your family and cultivate times of togetherness, but also enlarge your children’s scope. Take them with you as you volunteer. They’ll gain an outward, compassionate focus that can enable them to become generous citizens and good parents themselves someday
7. We Can Be Less Anxious
“I just want my kids to be safe.” How many times have I said this and heard other parents say the same? Of course we want our kids to be in safe cars, schools, and homes. But this desire for safety can spiral out of control, fed by fear, and lead to what some are already calling “the anxious generation.” Too much caution will cripple our children with fear and limit their enjoyment and effectiveness in life. As parents, we need to practice safety, but we also need to practice trust and faith. Kids need challenges and adventures to stretch their abilities and give them self-confidence, problem-solving skills, and courage—attributes every successful adult needs.
8. We Don't Need to Be Perfect
Many of us live with the realities of divorce, single-parenting, blended families, teen pregnancy, and many other less-than-perfect circumstances. We often feel like failures, and worry about our children’s security and success and their own future families. But there is no perfect family. Families throughout history were often marked by imperfection, yet the children from those families still accomplished much. With attentive parenting, we can help turn adversity into strength. For instance, I travel often to teach and speak. While our family is apart, my kids have learned to cook and manage the house. Our own family limitations never limit our children’s faith or their possibilities.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tips for Positive Parenting
May 20, 2010 by Leslie Leyland Fields for Beliefnet
Many parents today feel overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and guilt. I am convinced that many of our struggles come from believing that it is our job to be perfect parents. But we don't need to get caught up in false beliefs that cause stress and worry. Read the eight truths about parenting that will free you to be a more positive parent.
Leslie Leyland Fields is a mother of six and author of "Parenting Is Your Highest Calling, and Eight Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt" (Waterbrook). She lives in Kodiak, Alaska.
1. You May Not Feel Loving Every Minute
Before we have children, we believe we’ll always love them unconditionally. But it’s not too many years after they arrive that the I-love-you/you-love-me-back arrangement is gone. In the hard times, we can easily jump to the wrong conclusion: I don’t feel loving toward my child, therefore I must not love my child.
The question is not, “Am I feeling loving toward my child?” but “Am I being loving toward my child?” If we’re supporting, encouraging, and disciplining our kids--if we're committed to their highest good--we are loving them. Don't worry about fluctuating feelings.
2. We Don't Need to Obsess Over Success
Increasingly, parents seem to measure their success by the achievements of their children. But this current obsession is leading to all kinds of excesses, including overscheduling and overprotection. We need to let go of our obsession with success, both for our sakes and our children’s. Our children need breathing room, unstructured play time, and the ability to make mistakes and learn from them. Most of all, we need to value and love our children not for their achievements, but simply for who they are.
3. Our Kids Have Their Own Purpose
Before we became parents, many of us believed that children would bring us happiness, fulfillment, as well as tons of fun! We soon discover that these moments do arrive, but along with them come many moments of, well, not so much fun. All parents feel surprised at how much work parenting is. But in many ways we receive more than we give. Children teach us how little we know—the beginning of real wisdom. Children expand our hearts. They free us from our self-focus and open us to the needs and love of others. Children don’t exist to fulfill us. Ultimately, they are here to find their own purpose and to contribute to the world in some way.
4. There's No Parenting Formula
While there are many helpful parenting books out there, some offer formulaic models based on behavior modification, obedience training, and rigid discipline. The underlying assumptions: we should be in control of our children at all times, and children shouldn’t mess up our lives. Raising children is inherently messy, thrilling, and unpredictable. Parenting "experts" and "one size fits all" parenting formulas cannot raise our children for us. We raise our children. Our children are too complex, creative, and unique to be raised by recipes or formulas.
5. We Don't Have to Buy Them Happiness
We often think the best measurement of our parenting skill is how happy our children are. Toward this goal, we put TVs in our kids’ rooms, go into debt for lavish birthday parties and vacations, and fix the foods our children clamor for instead of what they need. Our job as parents is not to make our children happy, but to help them become good people—compassionate, honest, responsible, hard-working. When a 10-year-old already obsessed with video games asks for an iPod, or a 16-year-old wants us to buy him a car, we may need to say no. The 10-year-old needs to gain some maturity and discipline; the 16-year-old could earn the money for a car. Our job is to help our children distinguish between their short-term happiness and the long-term good of their character.
6. Is Not Our Only Calling
Yes, we are called to love our families, but also to love our neighbors. When we focus exclusively on our children, we risk turning them into idols. Our children can grow up oblivious to others’ needs and the needs of the planet, believing they are the center of the universe. Enjoy your family and cultivate times of togetherness, but also enlarge your children’s scope. Take them with you as you volunteer. They’ll gain an outward, compassionate focus that can enable them to become generous citizens and good parents themselves someday
7. We Can Be Less Anxious
“I just want my kids to be safe.” How many times have I said this and heard other parents say the same? Of course we want our kids to be in safe cars, schools, and homes. But this desire for safety can spiral out of control, fed by fear, and lead to what some are already calling “the anxious generation.” Too much caution will cripple our children with fear and limit their enjoyment and effectiveness in life. As parents, we need to practice safety, but we also need to practice trust and faith. Kids need challenges and adventures to stretch their abilities and give them self-confidence, problem-solving skills, and courage—attributes every successful adult needs.
8. We Don't Need to Be Perfect
Many of us live with the realities of divorce, single-parenting, blended families, teen pregnancy, and many other less-than-perfect circumstances. We often feel like failures, and worry about our children’s security and success and their own future families. But there is no perfect family. Families throughout history were often marked by imperfection, yet the children from those families still accomplished much. With attentive parenting, we can help turn adversity into strength. For instance, I travel often to teach and speak. While our family is apart, my kids have learned to cook and manage the house. Our own family limitations never limit our children’s faith or their possibilities.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully, accepting these tips for mental clarity
Harvest Life Gracefully accepting these tips for mental clarity.
How to Achieve Mental Clarity
Author: Christopher Lloyd Clarke
Of all the resources that you rely on to navigate your life, the one you take most for granted is also the one you use on the most. It's your mind.
Most people don't think of their mind as a "resource" but if you think about for just a moment you'll realize that it's true. Your mind is your greatest asset, and it's something that you rely on for just about everything you do.
Where would you be without your intelligence, imagination and creativity? How would you survive without your memory, your intuition or your ability to reason? You rely on these mental faculties every day of your life, so where does that leave you if your mind is unclear?
Where did my clarity go?
When you are born into this world, you begin life with a mind that is pure and untouched, like a blank canvas waiting to be coloured by experiences. As time goes by, you gradually develop the mental capabilities that you require in order to live a normal life. You develop your intelligence, creativity and memory, but at the same time you also build up a great deal of mental "junk". You may find yourself bound by more and more responsibilities. You accumulate memories, good and bad. You are bombarded with information via television and radio, and you are surrounded by the noise of industry and the hustle bustle of modern life. Is it any wonder that our mental clarity suffers?
Without mental clarity, it's easy to become stressed and confused, to lose touch with your purpose in life, and to become unhealthy or exhausted.
Most of us really never stop to question the way we live our lives. We just accept all the noise and drama and forget about the simple joy of living in the moment, freely, as we did when we were children.
So how do you reclaim clarity? How do you reclaim the simple inner peace that you had when you were young? How do you wipe the canvas of your mind clean without losing all the powerful mental faculties that you have developed throughout your life?
The first step towards improving mental clarity
There are a number of things you can do to gain mental clarity, but the first recommendation I'll make is that you learn how to meditate. Through meditation you will quickly learn to achieve mental stillness, and you'll dramatically increase your ability to concentrate. Can you think of a better method for improving mental clarity than taking command of you own mind in this way?
The practice of meditation not only clears away all of the repetitive thinking that circulates in your mind, it also strengthens your ability to stay focussed and clear during your normal daily life.
Meditation also stamps out the biggest enemy of a clear mind...stress.
If you've never meditated before, then meditation might be a bit unfamiliar to you. Perhaps you think of meditation as something that is reserved for Eastern mystics or Tibetan monks. Nothing could be further from the truth. Hundreds of millions of everyday people just like you use meditation to experience enhanced mental clarity and to improve their overall quality of life.
Think of meditation as "taking your mind to the gymnasium". In many respects, your mind is a muscle that you've never really trained. You've been feeding it information all your life, but like an untrained house pet, it may have become quite unruly and undisciplined.
Start by learning how to meditate. I guarantee you that meditation is easier than you might think, and that the results you will experience, especially in the long term, will astound you.
Further steps to achieve enhanced mental clarity
Meditation is your most powerful tool for improving mental clarity, but anything that improves your overall health and eliminate stress will also be hugely beneficial. Here are 7 more suggestions that will help:
1. Avoid taking drugs unless they are essential to your physical and/or mental health. 2. Limit your alcohol intake. 3. Exercise regularly. 4. Eat a healthy, well balanced diet. 5. Make sure you get enough sleep each night. 6. Spend some time in nature, away from the calamity of city living. 7. Avoid stressful situations whenever practical.
Even if you are only able to implement a few of these suggestions for improving mental clarity, you'll still be taking very positive steps forward.
Over to you...
When you reclaim your clarity of mind, you unleash all the mental faculties that you have developed during your life in a whole new way. It's like cleaning the windscreen of your car for the first time. All of a sudden, you can see clearly, you can see where you are going, and life becomes more of a pleasure cruise than a foggy drive.
And you know what? You don't necessarily have to change what you are doing with your life in order to experience this renewal. You don't have to change your occupation or relocate yourself in order to experience dramatic, positive change. When you learn how to clear your mind through meditation, the change takes place on the inside...within your mind itself.
But it's all up to you. No one else can do it for you, and there's no shortcut for improving mental clarity. However, if you are ready to invest a little bit of time and effort in the daily practice of meditation, I guarantee that you will not only experience dramatic changes in your mental clarity, you'll also find yourself feeling happier, younger, freer, and more relaxed than you have in a long time. There is every chance that in the near future you'll become another one of the millions of people around the world who wonder "how did I ever live without meditation?"
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/how-to-achieve-mental-clarity-2385825.html
About the AuthorMeditation really is one of the most powerful ways to experience inner peace and to improve your quality of life. For more information about guided meditation and to learn how to meditate for free, please visit The Guided Meditation Site.
How to Achieve Mental Clarity
Author: Christopher Lloyd Clarke
Of all the resources that you rely on to navigate your life, the one you take most for granted is also the one you use on the most. It's your mind.
Most people don't think of their mind as a "resource" but if you think about for just a moment you'll realize that it's true. Your mind is your greatest asset, and it's something that you rely on for just about everything you do.
Where would you be without your intelligence, imagination and creativity? How would you survive without your memory, your intuition or your ability to reason? You rely on these mental faculties every day of your life, so where does that leave you if your mind is unclear?
Where did my clarity go?
When you are born into this world, you begin life with a mind that is pure and untouched, like a blank canvas waiting to be coloured by experiences. As time goes by, you gradually develop the mental capabilities that you require in order to live a normal life. You develop your intelligence, creativity and memory, but at the same time you also build up a great deal of mental "junk". You may find yourself bound by more and more responsibilities. You accumulate memories, good and bad. You are bombarded with information via television and radio, and you are surrounded by the noise of industry and the hustle bustle of modern life. Is it any wonder that our mental clarity suffers?
Without mental clarity, it's easy to become stressed and confused, to lose touch with your purpose in life, and to become unhealthy or exhausted.
Most of us really never stop to question the way we live our lives. We just accept all the noise and drama and forget about the simple joy of living in the moment, freely, as we did when we were children.
So how do you reclaim clarity? How do you reclaim the simple inner peace that you had when you were young? How do you wipe the canvas of your mind clean without losing all the powerful mental faculties that you have developed throughout your life?
The first step towards improving mental clarity
There are a number of things you can do to gain mental clarity, but the first recommendation I'll make is that you learn how to meditate. Through meditation you will quickly learn to achieve mental stillness, and you'll dramatically increase your ability to concentrate. Can you think of a better method for improving mental clarity than taking command of you own mind in this way?
The practice of meditation not only clears away all of the repetitive thinking that circulates in your mind, it also strengthens your ability to stay focussed and clear during your normal daily life.
Meditation also stamps out the biggest enemy of a clear mind...stress.
If you've never meditated before, then meditation might be a bit unfamiliar to you. Perhaps you think of meditation as something that is reserved for Eastern mystics or Tibetan monks. Nothing could be further from the truth. Hundreds of millions of everyday people just like you use meditation to experience enhanced mental clarity and to improve their overall quality of life.
Think of meditation as "taking your mind to the gymnasium". In many respects, your mind is a muscle that you've never really trained. You've been feeding it information all your life, but like an untrained house pet, it may have become quite unruly and undisciplined.
Start by learning how to meditate. I guarantee you that meditation is easier than you might think, and that the results you will experience, especially in the long term, will astound you.
Further steps to achieve enhanced mental clarity
Meditation is your most powerful tool for improving mental clarity, but anything that improves your overall health and eliminate stress will also be hugely beneficial. Here are 7 more suggestions that will help:
1. Avoid taking drugs unless they are essential to your physical and/or mental health. 2. Limit your alcohol intake. 3. Exercise regularly. 4. Eat a healthy, well balanced diet. 5. Make sure you get enough sleep each night. 6. Spend some time in nature, away from the calamity of city living. 7. Avoid stressful situations whenever practical.
Even if you are only able to implement a few of these suggestions for improving mental clarity, you'll still be taking very positive steps forward.
Over to you...
When you reclaim your clarity of mind, you unleash all the mental faculties that you have developed during your life in a whole new way. It's like cleaning the windscreen of your car for the first time. All of a sudden, you can see clearly, you can see where you are going, and life becomes more of a pleasure cruise than a foggy drive.
And you know what? You don't necessarily have to change what you are doing with your life in order to experience this renewal. You don't have to change your occupation or relocate yourself in order to experience dramatic, positive change. When you learn how to clear your mind through meditation, the change takes place on the inside...within your mind itself.
But it's all up to you. No one else can do it for you, and there's no shortcut for improving mental clarity. However, if you are ready to invest a little bit of time and effort in the daily practice of meditation, I guarantee that you will not only experience dramatic changes in your mental clarity, you'll also find yourself feeling happier, younger, freer, and more relaxed than you have in a long time. There is every chance that in the near future you'll become another one of the millions of people around the world who wonder "how did I ever live without meditation?"
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/how-to-achieve-mental-clarity-2385825.html
About the AuthorMeditation really is one of the most powerful ways to experience inner peace and to improve your quality of life. For more information about guided meditation and to learn how to meditate for free, please visit The Guided Meditation Site.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully when you need Encouragement
Harvest Life Gracefully- Listen to this song of encouragement "Hold On"
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully- positive parenting- knowing how to cope with bullies when parenting
Harvest Life Gracefully by knowing, bullies are a part of life but learning to deal with them can be learned.
You Can't Stop School Bullies Until You Stop Adults Who Teach Them How
Author: Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed.
Children who are bullied need to know they are not the problem. Bullying is about the bully needing to feel powerful. They believe their wants are more important than anyone else's. They have learned to be abusers.
Bullying always involves
· Intimidation through specific tactics meant to instill fear
· Threats of emotional, physical and psychological harm
· Discrimination by accusing the victim of being inferior or wrong
· Isolation of the victim from others who may give support.
We must help the victims. This can be done by;
· Listening to their stories of life at school
· Watching for changes in behaviour, especially from happy to fearful
· Observing their play and listening to how they interact with others
· Asking about any indications that hint at being afraid or avoiding people or places.
You are looking for fear of the school yard, anxiety about who will be in their class, talk of having no friends, worry about their teacher's treatment of them and in general a focus on feeling safe rather than excited to be able to learn and grow.
We can identify bullies by;
· Watching the way they talk to and about other children
· Observing the way their parents speak to them
· Look at who their friends are and the interaction between them
· Paying attention to the types of games they play and TV programs they prefer.
Signs include belittling and name calling, talk of "getting" other people, a superior attitude with lack of care and empathy for others and forming groups where the group acts aggressively against siblings, younger children or members of a race, religion or sexual orientation. Bullies often present as confident and popular so people believe they are not the cause of the problem.
Parents must hold school officials accountable to stop abusive behaviour on the school yard and in the classroom. The first place to look is at the principals and teachers who bully students.
Every school year parents work to keep their children out of certain teacher's classes because those teachers are bullies. It is often the parents who are least involved in their children's lives whose children get the abusive teachers.
Too often children are seen as the problem, their aches and pains and reluctance to go to school are looked at but not the classroom environment.
· Parents can work together.
· Get supportive people to work as a group to hold bullies accountable.
· Avoid TV programs that show bullies in action.
· Be Self aware of tactics you may use to get your way
· Watch the way others speak to your child and confront abuse.
People who bully are usually going about their lives confident that the victim's physical and emotional reactions were because they are too sensitive, not mentally well and author of their own misfortune.
Bullies have usually been bullied. They are afraid of appearing weak or fearful. They need to tell their story of who has bullied them and how that behaviour has influenced their life to break the chain. It may be a parent, sibling, grandparent, friend, neighbour, role model on television, religious leader or teacher. Legal tactics include bullying as do many other forms of business interaction. Many workplaces are filled with bullies. War is bullying to the extreme.
There are lifelong repercussions of bullying that effect the way a person functions in their home and in society. Bullying causes a loss in self confidence, hinders achievement, disrupts routines, brings fear into the lives of parents and children, prevents parents from protecting their children out of their own fear and leads to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
Accountability involves forgiveness. Bullies need to,
· Hear the impact of their behaviour on their victim
· Be willing to accept responsibility for the harm they have done
· Compensate the victim
· Apologize
Society must evolve to a point where bullies are held accountable and their behaviour is seen as unacceptable if we are to ever live in peace as people, nations and globally.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/you-cant-stop-school-bullies-until-you-stop-adults-who-teach-them-how-512110.html
About the AuthorMarilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed. is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist who consults to families in business on relationship issues including bullying. More About Marilyn
Marilyn is author of books on personal growth through travel. Questing Home: A Safe Place for My Holy Grail is her third book and is about Marilyn's experience of being bullied by her former husband, his lawyer and others as she went through the process of divorce.
Read the Preface and Chapter One Free
You Can't Stop School Bullies Until You Stop Adults Who Teach Them How
Author: Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed.
Children who are bullied need to know they are not the problem. Bullying is about the bully needing to feel powerful. They believe their wants are more important than anyone else's. They have learned to be abusers.
Bullying always involves
· Intimidation through specific tactics meant to instill fear
· Threats of emotional, physical and psychological harm
· Discrimination by accusing the victim of being inferior or wrong
· Isolation of the victim from others who may give support.
We must help the victims. This can be done by;
· Listening to their stories of life at school
· Watching for changes in behaviour, especially from happy to fearful
· Observing their play and listening to how they interact with others
· Asking about any indications that hint at being afraid or avoiding people or places.
You are looking for fear of the school yard, anxiety about who will be in their class, talk of having no friends, worry about their teacher's treatment of them and in general a focus on feeling safe rather than excited to be able to learn and grow.
We can identify bullies by;
· Watching the way they talk to and about other children
· Observing the way their parents speak to them
· Look at who their friends are and the interaction between them
· Paying attention to the types of games they play and TV programs they prefer.
Signs include belittling and name calling, talk of "getting" other people, a superior attitude with lack of care and empathy for others and forming groups where the group acts aggressively against siblings, younger children or members of a race, religion or sexual orientation. Bullies often present as confident and popular so people believe they are not the cause of the problem.
Parents must hold school officials accountable to stop abusive behaviour on the school yard and in the classroom. The first place to look is at the principals and teachers who bully students.
Every school year parents work to keep their children out of certain teacher's classes because those teachers are bullies. It is often the parents who are least involved in their children's lives whose children get the abusive teachers.
Too often children are seen as the problem, their aches and pains and reluctance to go to school are looked at but not the classroom environment.
· Parents can work together.
· Get supportive people to work as a group to hold bullies accountable.
· Avoid TV programs that show bullies in action.
· Be Self aware of tactics you may use to get your way
· Watch the way others speak to your child and confront abuse.
People who bully are usually going about their lives confident that the victim's physical and emotional reactions were because they are too sensitive, not mentally well and author of their own misfortune.
Bullies have usually been bullied. They are afraid of appearing weak or fearful. They need to tell their story of who has bullied them and how that behaviour has influenced their life to break the chain. It may be a parent, sibling, grandparent, friend, neighbour, role model on television, religious leader or teacher. Legal tactics include bullying as do many other forms of business interaction. Many workplaces are filled with bullies. War is bullying to the extreme.
There are lifelong repercussions of bullying that effect the way a person functions in their home and in society. Bullying causes a loss in self confidence, hinders achievement, disrupts routines, brings fear into the lives of parents and children, prevents parents from protecting their children out of their own fear and leads to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
Accountability involves forgiveness. Bullies need to,
· Hear the impact of their behaviour on their victim
· Be willing to accept responsibility for the harm they have done
· Compensate the victim
· Apologize
Society must evolve to a point where bullies are held accountable and their behaviour is seen as unacceptable if we are to ever live in peace as people, nations and globally.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/you-cant-stop-school-bullies-until-you-stop-adults-who-teach-them-how-512110.html
About the AuthorMarilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed. is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist who consults to families in business on relationship issues including bullying. More About Marilyn
Marilyn is author of books on personal growth through travel. Questing Home: A Safe Place for My Holy Grail is her third book and is about Marilyn's experience of being bullied by her former husband, his lawyer and others as she went through the process of divorce.
Read the Preface and Chapter One Free
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully-positive living, spirituality and learning who you are
Harvest Life Gracefully- positive living and spirituality learning who you are
A simple story sharing a simple and profound exercise which can prepare us for meditation on emptiness.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall - Who Am I? A Preview to Emptiness Meditation
Author: Christopher Boozell
Once upon a time, a young man decided to pursue the path of enlightenment. He asked many people if they knew a teacher who could teach this path. Everyone in his village told him to seek out a particular guru in the next village.
He did so, asking the spiritual teacher to become his master and show him the path to enlightenment. "Certainly", replied the guru. "Here is what you do - every morning when you get out of bed, look at yourself in a mirror and ask yourself 'who am I?' If you do that, soon you will be enlightened."
"What?" cried the young man. "That's silly - it would never work!"
"Hmmm," said the master. "OK. Maybe you should go see the master another village over. I hear he is even wiser than I am."
A bit disappointed that first master wasn't able to help, and a little insulted that the man would even have suggested something so foolish, the young man went to the next village where he found the second guru. "Will you help me find enlightenment?"
"Of course!" said the second guru. "But I must warn you - the path is very demanding. You will be challenged in ways you can't even imagine right now. Are you willing to give up everything you have and do whatever I say?"
"Yes! Yes!" said the young man. Finally! This teacher obviously knew what he was talking about. So the young man settled into discipleship with the second guru, dutifully performing every meditation, every prayer, every ascetic act demanded of him.
After five years of rigorous study and deep meditation, the guru said to the young man, "You have been a fine student, and done everything I have assigned you with excellence. Are you ready for the final instruction?"
Excited, the student assured his master that he was ready for this last step to enlightenment. His guru told him, "OK, here it is: every morning when you get out of bed, look at yourself in a mirror and ask yourself 'who am I?' If you do that, soon you will be enlightened."
"W-what??" sputtered the young man. "That's it? You could have told me that five years ago!"
"You're right, I could have - but you were not ready to hear, yet. That is why you came to me, instead of doing what the first teacher told you."
Beside being mildly humorous, this story has a couple of lessons for us, if we'll hear them.
The spiritual path is not necessarily complicated, or esoteric. Zen teachings work to drive this point home relentlessly: "Stop fooling around. You are living smack dab in the middle of Truth - just get it!" In other words, it is possible to come to spiritual realization without jumping through tons of hoops.
As simple as spiritual Truth can be to experience, it usually isn't easy and we often can't get at it without significant preparation. This is why study, meditation, prayer, and ethical behavior are so critical to our development. Such practices are intended to give us the perspective necessary to recognize what has always been in front of us.
On top of that, the exercise offered by both teachers in this story really is useful as a pre-cursor to meditating on emptiness. Try it the next time you look in a mirror. Look yourself in the face and ask, "Who am I?"
This is not a rhetorical question. Answer yourself. Who are you? There will be a lot of quick, easy answers: you have a name, you are a husband or wife, a son or daughter, a father or mother, an employee, a friend, an enemy... You are many things. When you have run through those obvious answers, which come easily and are just as easily dismissed as incomplete answers, keep going. Keep digging. See what you find. Where is the truest you, the ROOT you?
Do this every day. At first, you could feel a bit narcissistic, but you'll soon realize this exercise is not even close to that kind of self involvement. (By the same token, any temptation to criticize perceived flaws will quickly fall away). As you continue searching for anything concrete on which to rest the answer to this question of who you are, your idea of self can begin to change. The storyline about your own reality will morph, possibly leading to a fresh relations with yourself, the world around you, and the Divine.
Ultimately, this is just another technique, as is meditation. But every time you use one of these special practices to make a shift in perspective, you become healthier. See where this one can take you.
Vigilate,
Chris
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/meditation-articles/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall-who-am-i-a-preview-to-emptiness-meditation-2365157.html
About the AuthorFor more information on Christian meditation check out Christopher Boozell's website: http://www.tantricchristianity.com/lesson_signup.html where you may sign up for a free mini-course on meditation! You can also read related to emptiness meditation in my blog.
A simple story sharing a simple and profound exercise which can prepare us for meditation on emptiness.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall - Who Am I? A Preview to Emptiness Meditation
Author: Christopher Boozell
Once upon a time, a young man decided to pursue the path of enlightenment. He asked many people if they knew a teacher who could teach this path. Everyone in his village told him to seek out a particular guru in the next village.
He did so, asking the spiritual teacher to become his master and show him the path to enlightenment. "Certainly", replied the guru. "Here is what you do - every morning when you get out of bed, look at yourself in a mirror and ask yourself 'who am I?' If you do that, soon you will be enlightened."
"What?" cried the young man. "That's silly - it would never work!"
"Hmmm," said the master. "OK. Maybe you should go see the master another village over. I hear he is even wiser than I am."
A bit disappointed that first master wasn't able to help, and a little insulted that the man would even have suggested something so foolish, the young man went to the next village where he found the second guru. "Will you help me find enlightenment?"
"Of course!" said the second guru. "But I must warn you - the path is very demanding. You will be challenged in ways you can't even imagine right now. Are you willing to give up everything you have and do whatever I say?"
"Yes! Yes!" said the young man. Finally! This teacher obviously knew what he was talking about. So the young man settled into discipleship with the second guru, dutifully performing every meditation, every prayer, every ascetic act demanded of him.
After five years of rigorous study and deep meditation, the guru said to the young man, "You have been a fine student, and done everything I have assigned you with excellence. Are you ready for the final instruction?"
Excited, the student assured his master that he was ready for this last step to enlightenment. His guru told him, "OK, here it is: every morning when you get out of bed, look at yourself in a mirror and ask yourself 'who am I?' If you do that, soon you will be enlightened."
"W-what??" sputtered the young man. "That's it? You could have told me that five years ago!"
"You're right, I could have - but you were not ready to hear, yet. That is why you came to me, instead of doing what the first teacher told you."
Beside being mildly humorous, this story has a couple of lessons for us, if we'll hear them.
The spiritual path is not necessarily complicated, or esoteric. Zen teachings work to drive this point home relentlessly: "Stop fooling around. You are living smack dab in the middle of Truth - just get it!" In other words, it is possible to come to spiritual realization without jumping through tons of hoops.
As simple as spiritual Truth can be to experience, it usually isn't easy and we often can't get at it without significant preparation. This is why study, meditation, prayer, and ethical behavior are so critical to our development. Such practices are intended to give us the perspective necessary to recognize what has always been in front of us.
On top of that, the exercise offered by both teachers in this story really is useful as a pre-cursor to meditating on emptiness. Try it the next time you look in a mirror. Look yourself in the face and ask, "Who am I?"
This is not a rhetorical question. Answer yourself. Who are you? There will be a lot of quick, easy answers: you have a name, you are a husband or wife, a son or daughter, a father or mother, an employee, a friend, an enemy... You are many things. When you have run through those obvious answers, which come easily and are just as easily dismissed as incomplete answers, keep going. Keep digging. See what you find. Where is the truest you, the ROOT you?
Do this every day. At first, you could feel a bit narcissistic, but you'll soon realize this exercise is not even close to that kind of self involvement. (By the same token, any temptation to criticize perceived flaws will quickly fall away). As you continue searching for anything concrete on which to rest the answer to this question of who you are, your idea of self can begin to change. The storyline about your own reality will morph, possibly leading to a fresh relations with yourself, the world around you, and the Divine.
Ultimately, this is just another technique, as is meditation. But every time you use one of these special practices to make a shift in perspective, you become healthier. See where this one can take you.
Vigilate,
Chris
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/meditation-articles/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall-who-am-i-a-preview-to-emptiness-meditation-2365157.html
About the AuthorFor more information on Christian meditation check out Christopher Boozell's website: http://www.tantricchristianity.com/lesson_signup.html where you may sign up for a free mini-course on meditation! You can also read related to emptiness meditation in my blog.
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