Another way to harvest life gracefully is to understand and educate yourself about the long term effects of being bullied at school. I can understand these effects, base on my own personal expierences. It will cause low self-worth, feeling like a nothing, you will even question why you are alive and be confuse to what your purpose is. It is not unusual to conteplate or even attempt sucide just to escape from the emotional pain. I can't imagine nothing any worse than feeling unloved, unwanted and having no place in this world. These are all thoughts and feelings that I expirenced by being verbally bullied thoughout elementry, middle and high school. I agree with Vickie Britton in her article below, that you can and probably suffer the lasting efects twenty or thirty years later. I have certain triggers that will take my mind back as if it is still happening today. This is not easy for the people I am close to. Beccause they don't always know how to respond. If you get a chance read what I have already posted on my story page in how anxiety sunk in during my high school years and how the anxiety caused even more misery to my life. I hope everyone will take the time to understand and educate themselves on this subject matter. I believe it is also important to understand and educate what causes a bully to be a bully.
The Long-Term Effect on Students Victimized by School Bullies
Apr 10, 2010 Vickie Britton
Students who were bullied in elementary, middle, or high school may suffer lasting effects even twenty or thirty years later.
Most adults have a horror story or two about the school bully. But for some students, the harassment may begin as early as elementary school, escalate during middle school and continue through high school. Years of emotional and physical bullying can cause lasting damage.
Bullying is a form of abuse. One child or a small group may be singled out for harassment, often for little or no reason. Once it becomes a pattern, this form of behavior can spread throughout a classroom or school until a single child or group of "outsiders" is subjected to daily verbal or physical abuse by others.
Types of Bullying Commonly Experienced
For many bullied students, the school years are filled with anxiety and dread. Ex-students recall being singled out for abuse by name-calling, being shunned and ostracized, and even beaten. Students recall being pushed into walls, knocked to the ground, and sustaining cuts and bruises on a daily basis.
Bullying often occurs in contained areas such as school buses or bathrooms. It may also take place in the classroom, school cafeteria, gym locker room, or even in the hallways between classes. Some provide painful testimony of verbal abuse, such as repeated name-calling. Others are jabbed with sharp objects such as pens in the hallway or they're mocked and humiliated in the gym shower or locker room. Many report that teachers and other adults knew what was going on but did nothing to stop the continual bullying.
The Lasting Effects of Bullying
The pain of being bullied in school can be felt years later. Many victims of bullying bear emotional scars that haunt them decades after the abuse has stopped. Many students who had been bullied in middle school or high school report feeling a sense of withdrawal from others, fear of expressing opinions, even fear of closed-in spaces or other places similar to the ones where the bullying occurred. The effects of this trauma are felt for years.
Read more at Suite101: The Long-Term Effect on Students Victimized by School Bullies http://clinical-psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/the-long-term-effect-of-students-victimized-by-school-bullies#ixzz0tVhiVPxV
Showing posts with label bullies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullies. Show all posts
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully- positive parenting- knowing how to cope with bullies when parenting
Harvest Life Gracefully by knowing, bullies are a part of life but learning to deal with them can be learned.
You Can't Stop School Bullies Until You Stop Adults Who Teach Them How
Author: Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed.
Children who are bullied need to know they are not the problem. Bullying is about the bully needing to feel powerful. They believe their wants are more important than anyone else's. They have learned to be abusers.
Bullying always involves
· Intimidation through specific tactics meant to instill fear
· Threats of emotional, physical and psychological harm
· Discrimination by accusing the victim of being inferior or wrong
· Isolation of the victim from others who may give support.
We must help the victims. This can be done by;
· Listening to their stories of life at school
· Watching for changes in behaviour, especially from happy to fearful
· Observing their play and listening to how they interact with others
· Asking about any indications that hint at being afraid or avoiding people or places.
You are looking for fear of the school yard, anxiety about who will be in their class, talk of having no friends, worry about their teacher's treatment of them and in general a focus on feeling safe rather than excited to be able to learn and grow.
We can identify bullies by;
· Watching the way they talk to and about other children
· Observing the way their parents speak to them
· Look at who their friends are and the interaction between them
· Paying attention to the types of games they play and TV programs they prefer.
Signs include belittling and name calling, talk of "getting" other people, a superior attitude with lack of care and empathy for others and forming groups where the group acts aggressively against siblings, younger children or members of a race, religion or sexual orientation. Bullies often present as confident and popular so people believe they are not the cause of the problem.
Parents must hold school officials accountable to stop abusive behaviour on the school yard and in the classroom. The first place to look is at the principals and teachers who bully students.
Every school year parents work to keep their children out of certain teacher's classes because those teachers are bullies. It is often the parents who are least involved in their children's lives whose children get the abusive teachers.
Too often children are seen as the problem, their aches and pains and reluctance to go to school are looked at but not the classroom environment.
· Parents can work together.
· Get supportive people to work as a group to hold bullies accountable.
· Avoid TV programs that show bullies in action.
· Be Self aware of tactics you may use to get your way
· Watch the way others speak to your child and confront abuse.
People who bully are usually going about their lives confident that the victim's physical and emotional reactions were because they are too sensitive, not mentally well and author of their own misfortune.
Bullies have usually been bullied. They are afraid of appearing weak or fearful. They need to tell their story of who has bullied them and how that behaviour has influenced their life to break the chain. It may be a parent, sibling, grandparent, friend, neighbour, role model on television, religious leader or teacher. Legal tactics include bullying as do many other forms of business interaction. Many workplaces are filled with bullies. War is bullying to the extreme.
There are lifelong repercussions of bullying that effect the way a person functions in their home and in society. Bullying causes a loss in self confidence, hinders achievement, disrupts routines, brings fear into the lives of parents and children, prevents parents from protecting their children out of their own fear and leads to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
Accountability involves forgiveness. Bullies need to,
· Hear the impact of their behaviour on their victim
· Be willing to accept responsibility for the harm they have done
· Compensate the victim
· Apologize
Society must evolve to a point where bullies are held accountable and their behaviour is seen as unacceptable if we are to ever live in peace as people, nations and globally.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/you-cant-stop-school-bullies-until-you-stop-adults-who-teach-them-how-512110.html
About the AuthorMarilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed. is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist who consults to families in business on relationship issues including bullying. More About Marilyn
Marilyn is author of books on personal growth through travel. Questing Home: A Safe Place for My Holy Grail is her third book and is about Marilyn's experience of being bullied by her former husband, his lawyer and others as she went through the process of divorce.
Read the Preface and Chapter One Free
You Can't Stop School Bullies Until You Stop Adults Who Teach Them How
Author: Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed.
Children who are bullied need to know they are not the problem. Bullying is about the bully needing to feel powerful. They believe their wants are more important than anyone else's. They have learned to be abusers.
Bullying always involves
· Intimidation through specific tactics meant to instill fear
· Threats of emotional, physical and psychological harm
· Discrimination by accusing the victim of being inferior or wrong
· Isolation of the victim from others who may give support.
We must help the victims. This can be done by;
· Listening to their stories of life at school
· Watching for changes in behaviour, especially from happy to fearful
· Observing their play and listening to how they interact with others
· Asking about any indications that hint at being afraid or avoiding people or places.
You are looking for fear of the school yard, anxiety about who will be in their class, talk of having no friends, worry about their teacher's treatment of them and in general a focus on feeling safe rather than excited to be able to learn and grow.
We can identify bullies by;
· Watching the way they talk to and about other children
· Observing the way their parents speak to them
· Look at who their friends are and the interaction between them
· Paying attention to the types of games they play and TV programs they prefer.
Signs include belittling and name calling, talk of "getting" other people, a superior attitude with lack of care and empathy for others and forming groups where the group acts aggressively against siblings, younger children or members of a race, religion or sexual orientation. Bullies often present as confident and popular so people believe they are not the cause of the problem.
Parents must hold school officials accountable to stop abusive behaviour on the school yard and in the classroom. The first place to look is at the principals and teachers who bully students.
Every school year parents work to keep their children out of certain teacher's classes because those teachers are bullies. It is often the parents who are least involved in their children's lives whose children get the abusive teachers.
Too often children are seen as the problem, their aches and pains and reluctance to go to school are looked at but not the classroom environment.
· Parents can work together.
· Get supportive people to work as a group to hold bullies accountable.
· Avoid TV programs that show bullies in action.
· Be Self aware of tactics you may use to get your way
· Watch the way others speak to your child and confront abuse.
People who bully are usually going about their lives confident that the victim's physical and emotional reactions were because they are too sensitive, not mentally well and author of their own misfortune.
Bullies have usually been bullied. They are afraid of appearing weak or fearful. They need to tell their story of who has bullied them and how that behaviour has influenced their life to break the chain. It may be a parent, sibling, grandparent, friend, neighbour, role model on television, religious leader or teacher. Legal tactics include bullying as do many other forms of business interaction. Many workplaces are filled with bullies. War is bullying to the extreme.
There are lifelong repercussions of bullying that effect the way a person functions in their home and in society. Bullying causes a loss in self confidence, hinders achievement, disrupts routines, brings fear into the lives of parents and children, prevents parents from protecting their children out of their own fear and leads to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
Accountability involves forgiveness. Bullies need to,
· Hear the impact of their behaviour on their victim
· Be willing to accept responsibility for the harm they have done
· Compensate the victim
· Apologize
Society must evolve to a point where bullies are held accountable and their behaviour is seen as unacceptable if we are to ever live in peace as people, nations and globally.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/you-cant-stop-school-bullies-until-you-stop-adults-who-teach-them-how-512110.html
About the AuthorMarilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed. is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist who consults to families in business on relationship issues including bullying. More About Marilyn
Marilyn is author of books on personal growth through travel. Questing Home: A Safe Place for My Holy Grail is her third book and is about Marilyn's experience of being bullied by her former husband, his lawyer and others as she went through the process of divorce.
Read the Preface and Chapter One Free
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