Harvest Life Gracefully: Caretaker by Jane Jonas
Does this sound like you? Are you are caretaker? How about this? Would you think that you knew what was best for everyone. If only they would follow your advice then they would be fine. Then when they did not follow you will be become frustrated and angry feeling rejected?
Understand this! In order to harvest life gracefully we must remember that we are not in charge. Do you like it when people try to control you? If you are like me you would probably resent it. So I am sure that people will resent us if we did the same. We are powerless to change anyone but ourselves. I believe that if we are too busy in other people's lives, it is because we are running away from ourself. Would you not agree?
Showing posts with label posiitive thinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label posiitive thinking. Show all posts
Monday, August 2, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully- positive parenting- knowing how to cope with bullies when parenting
Harvest Life Gracefully by knowing, bullies are a part of life but learning to deal with them can be learned.
You Can't Stop School Bullies Until You Stop Adults Who Teach Them How
Author: Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed.
Children who are bullied need to know they are not the problem. Bullying is about the bully needing to feel powerful. They believe their wants are more important than anyone else's. They have learned to be abusers.
Bullying always involves
· Intimidation through specific tactics meant to instill fear
· Threats of emotional, physical and psychological harm
· Discrimination by accusing the victim of being inferior or wrong
· Isolation of the victim from others who may give support.
We must help the victims. This can be done by;
· Listening to their stories of life at school
· Watching for changes in behaviour, especially from happy to fearful
· Observing their play and listening to how they interact with others
· Asking about any indications that hint at being afraid or avoiding people or places.
You are looking for fear of the school yard, anxiety about who will be in their class, talk of having no friends, worry about their teacher's treatment of them and in general a focus on feeling safe rather than excited to be able to learn and grow.
We can identify bullies by;
· Watching the way they talk to and about other children
· Observing the way their parents speak to them
· Look at who their friends are and the interaction between them
· Paying attention to the types of games they play and TV programs they prefer.
Signs include belittling and name calling, talk of "getting" other people, a superior attitude with lack of care and empathy for others and forming groups where the group acts aggressively against siblings, younger children or members of a race, religion or sexual orientation. Bullies often present as confident and popular so people believe they are not the cause of the problem.
Parents must hold school officials accountable to stop abusive behaviour on the school yard and in the classroom. The first place to look is at the principals and teachers who bully students.
Every school year parents work to keep their children out of certain teacher's classes because those teachers are bullies. It is often the parents who are least involved in their children's lives whose children get the abusive teachers.
Too often children are seen as the problem, their aches and pains and reluctance to go to school are looked at but not the classroom environment.
· Parents can work together.
· Get supportive people to work as a group to hold bullies accountable.
· Avoid TV programs that show bullies in action.
· Be Self aware of tactics you may use to get your way
· Watch the way others speak to your child and confront abuse.
People who bully are usually going about their lives confident that the victim's physical and emotional reactions were because they are too sensitive, not mentally well and author of their own misfortune.
Bullies have usually been bullied. They are afraid of appearing weak or fearful. They need to tell their story of who has bullied them and how that behaviour has influenced their life to break the chain. It may be a parent, sibling, grandparent, friend, neighbour, role model on television, religious leader or teacher. Legal tactics include bullying as do many other forms of business interaction. Many workplaces are filled with bullies. War is bullying to the extreme.
There are lifelong repercussions of bullying that effect the way a person functions in their home and in society. Bullying causes a loss in self confidence, hinders achievement, disrupts routines, brings fear into the lives of parents and children, prevents parents from protecting their children out of their own fear and leads to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
Accountability involves forgiveness. Bullies need to,
· Hear the impact of their behaviour on their victim
· Be willing to accept responsibility for the harm they have done
· Compensate the victim
· Apologize
Society must evolve to a point where bullies are held accountable and their behaviour is seen as unacceptable if we are to ever live in peace as people, nations and globally.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/you-cant-stop-school-bullies-until-you-stop-adults-who-teach-them-how-512110.html
About the AuthorMarilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed. is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist who consults to families in business on relationship issues including bullying. More About Marilyn
Marilyn is author of books on personal growth through travel. Questing Home: A Safe Place for My Holy Grail is her third book and is about Marilyn's experience of being bullied by her former husband, his lawyer and others as she went through the process of divorce.
Read the Preface and Chapter One Free
You Can't Stop School Bullies Until You Stop Adults Who Teach Them How
Author: Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed.
Children who are bullied need to know they are not the problem. Bullying is about the bully needing to feel powerful. They believe their wants are more important than anyone else's. They have learned to be abusers.
Bullying always involves
· Intimidation through specific tactics meant to instill fear
· Threats of emotional, physical and psychological harm
· Discrimination by accusing the victim of being inferior or wrong
· Isolation of the victim from others who may give support.
We must help the victims. This can be done by;
· Listening to their stories of life at school
· Watching for changes in behaviour, especially from happy to fearful
· Observing their play and listening to how they interact with others
· Asking about any indications that hint at being afraid or avoiding people or places.
You are looking for fear of the school yard, anxiety about who will be in their class, talk of having no friends, worry about their teacher's treatment of them and in general a focus on feeling safe rather than excited to be able to learn and grow.
We can identify bullies by;
· Watching the way they talk to and about other children
· Observing the way their parents speak to them
· Look at who their friends are and the interaction between them
· Paying attention to the types of games they play and TV programs they prefer.
Signs include belittling and name calling, talk of "getting" other people, a superior attitude with lack of care and empathy for others and forming groups where the group acts aggressively against siblings, younger children or members of a race, religion or sexual orientation. Bullies often present as confident and popular so people believe they are not the cause of the problem.
Parents must hold school officials accountable to stop abusive behaviour on the school yard and in the classroom. The first place to look is at the principals and teachers who bully students.
Every school year parents work to keep their children out of certain teacher's classes because those teachers are bullies. It is often the parents who are least involved in their children's lives whose children get the abusive teachers.
Too often children are seen as the problem, their aches and pains and reluctance to go to school are looked at but not the classroom environment.
· Parents can work together.
· Get supportive people to work as a group to hold bullies accountable.
· Avoid TV programs that show bullies in action.
· Be Self aware of tactics you may use to get your way
· Watch the way others speak to your child and confront abuse.
People who bully are usually going about their lives confident that the victim's physical and emotional reactions were because they are too sensitive, not mentally well and author of their own misfortune.
Bullies have usually been bullied. They are afraid of appearing weak or fearful. They need to tell their story of who has bullied them and how that behaviour has influenced their life to break the chain. It may be a parent, sibling, grandparent, friend, neighbour, role model on television, religious leader or teacher. Legal tactics include bullying as do many other forms of business interaction. Many workplaces are filled with bullies. War is bullying to the extreme.
There are lifelong repercussions of bullying that effect the way a person functions in their home and in society. Bullying causes a loss in self confidence, hinders achievement, disrupts routines, brings fear into the lives of parents and children, prevents parents from protecting their children out of their own fear and leads to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
Accountability involves forgiveness. Bullies need to,
· Hear the impact of their behaviour on their victim
· Be willing to accept responsibility for the harm they have done
· Compensate the victim
· Apologize
Society must evolve to a point where bullies are held accountable and their behaviour is seen as unacceptable if we are to ever live in peace as people, nations and globally.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/you-cant-stop-school-bullies-until-you-stop-adults-who-teach-them-how-512110.html
About the AuthorMarilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed. is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist who consults to families in business on relationship issues including bullying. More About Marilyn
Marilyn is author of books on personal growth through travel. Questing Home: A Safe Place for My Holy Grail is her third book and is about Marilyn's experience of being bullied by her former husband, his lawyer and others as she went through the process of divorce.
Read the Preface and Chapter One Free
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully Remember Your Mother on Mother's Day
Harvest Life Gracefully by remebering your mother on Mother's Day.
Mother's Day is on Sunday, This is a day that we need to take time out to feel grateful for our mother. Without her we would not have life.
Here is a bueatiful site that will help you appreciate your mother, it also gives you ideas on how you want to celebrate Mother's Day.
Mother's Day Articles,Articles on Mothers Day,Mothers Day Festival Articles
Mother's Day is on Sunday, This is a day that we need to take time out to feel grateful for our mother. Without her we would not have life.
Here is a bueatiful site that will help you appreciate your mother, it also gives you ideas on how you want to celebrate Mother's Day.
Mother's Day Articles,Articles on Mothers Day,Mothers Day Festival Articles
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully-Survivors can be proud and feel like they have accomplished wonderful things.
Harvest Life Gracefully because survivors can be proud of themselves. There are many reasons why survivors can feel proud of themselves and feel that they have accomplished a lot, just read this article and believe!
Abuse Survivors: Remembering Your Strengths
by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist, 2002.
Being a survivor of abuse means feeling all kinds of painful feelings. It gets overwhelming at times, and many survivors forget how much they've accomplished and how far they've come. It's easy to get discouraged and feel like nothing is ever going to get better or that you have not accomplished anything. But the truth is you have accomplished a lot. Here are some of the accomplishments that you can be proud of:
Focusing on your healing when it felt like there'd be no end or point to feeling so much pain;
Hanging in there and keeping yourself alive when living felt unbearable;
Holding on to hope when you felt lost and hopeless;
Reaching out for support when there was no support for you as a child;
Calling someone for help when you were scared;
Speaking your truth when only a few people or no one would listen;
Protecting yourself from abusers and getting yourself safe;
Never giving up on yourself, even when others did;
Reaching out a hand to a friend in need when you were in a lot of pain yourself;
Accepting an extended hand when you felt like no one could ever care about you;
Daring to trust when no one in your life was trustworthy;
Loving your friends and partner when your childhood taught you betrayal and hatred;
Being yourself when you were trained to deny yourself;
Believing in a better world when you know full well the suffering human beings are capable of inflicting on others.
It takes great courage and determination to face abuse, to keep yourself safe, and to heal.
Abuse Survivors: Remembering Your Strengths
by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist, 2002.
Being a survivor of abuse means feeling all kinds of painful feelings. It gets overwhelming at times, and many survivors forget how much they've accomplished and how far they've come. It's easy to get discouraged and feel like nothing is ever going to get better or that you have not accomplished anything. But the truth is you have accomplished a lot. Here are some of the accomplishments that you can be proud of:
Focusing on your healing when it felt like there'd be no end or point to feeling so much pain;
Hanging in there and keeping yourself alive when living felt unbearable;
Holding on to hope when you felt lost and hopeless;
Reaching out for support when there was no support for you as a child;
Calling someone for help when you were scared;
Speaking your truth when only a few people or no one would listen;
Protecting yourself from abusers and getting yourself safe;
Never giving up on yourself, even when others did;
Reaching out a hand to a friend in need when you were in a lot of pain yourself;
Accepting an extended hand when you felt like no one could ever care about you;
Daring to trust when no one in your life was trustworthy;
Loving your friends and partner when your childhood taught you betrayal and hatred;
Being yourself when you were trained to deny yourself;
Believing in a better world when you know full well the suffering human beings are capable of inflicting on others.
It takes great courage and determination to face abuse, to keep yourself safe, and to heal.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Havest Life Greacefully- Tips on Healing-Sexual Abuse, Rape, and Incest – Comfort through Creativity (Ezine Ready)
Harvest Life Gracefully sharing some tips on how to heal from sexual abuse
Trauma from sexual abuse, rape, and incest does not have to result in devastating life-long problems. One of the very best tools to a victorious life, rather than remaining a victim, is to give your pain and anger a voice. One’s “voice” does not necessarily assume speaking. Allowing one’s inner child to speak refers to finding some creative outlet to tell one’s abuse story. Through creative self-expression one will find comfort from the entanglement of an abusive past.Sexual Abuse, Rape, and Incest – Comfort through Creativity
Author: Donna Eder
Trauma from sexual abuse, rape, and incest does not have to result in devastating life-long problems. One of the very best tools to a victorious life, rather than remaining a victim, is to give your pain and anger a voice. One’s “voice” does not necessarily assume speaking. Allowing one’s inner child to speak refers to finding some creative outlet to tell one’s abuse story. Through creative self-expression one will find comfort from the entanglement of an abusive past. A creative voice can take on many forms. The form may be drawing, painting, writing (poetry, an article, essay, script, or book), creating a video, composing a song, journaling, dancing, or some other form to externally express one’s internal sexual abuse, rape, and incest issues. A creative voice allows the confusion, pain, and shame, a release from its inner bondage. The first (and only) step to beginning to give oneself a voice through creativity is to foster safety. One must be in (or find) a safe, non-threatening, calm, and safe space within and around oneself. In this safety one ensures no other pain will penetrate or be accumulated. This is critical. Expressing one’s voice necessitates appreciated vulnerability. One’s safe place is to be nurtured above all else. Everyone deserves dignity, respect, kindness, and validation, not to be further victimized. A safe place will ensure esteemed disclosure, albeit not guaranteeing understanding. There is no one right way or wrong way to “working” a creative outlet. However, it is an essential component to healing. Comfort is kindled through creating an end product that shares what has been silenced. One’s creations do not have to make sense to others. They are purposed as tools to express one’s pain. If they work for you then they work. They tell the story that could not be told in a verbal way, at that time. They don’t even have to make sense to oneself. Their purpose is to let go of the shame and silence that sexual abuse, rape, and incest have, for too long, held one captive. Sense cannot be made of the nonsensical. One’s creations are neither good nor bad. One does not need talent, propensity, quality, or quantity. The only ingredient is a silenced voice that requires emancipation. Through sharing one’s creative voice with oneself (and perhaps some other trusted person or persons), one’s seclusion, pain, and shame begin becoming unbound. The creative process for self-healing is not time-stamped. It is neither ever finished nor always constant. It grows and changes as one grows and heals. The one known variable is that giving a voice to the victim within, promotes comfort and healing. One’s identity, pain, and shame are given two wings to fly away. One’s new voice challenges encased old inner voices and tapes. There may be a time when what one hears from themselves is too alarming and overwhelming. Be patient and kind to honor oneself in the disclosure process. It may be that one will need to set aside her creative voice in order to pick it up at a later time. Even this is partly curative. Nothing cures sexual abuse, rape, and incest remnants in one’s life. How one responds to them will determine how healthy and functional one’s life becomes. Creatively voicing oneself is an effective and important method to communicate one’s lost inner child. Disclosure through a creative outlet will birth the comfort one seeks in order to be able to move on. To break free from remaining a victim of sexual exploitation, creatively claim your voice. Ó 2009 Donna Eder
About the AuthorDonna Eder is a published author and internationally juried artist. Her passions are compassion, teaching, and creativity. She has a Master of Arts from Columbia University, NY.
Trauma from sexual abuse, rape, and incest does not have to result in devastating life-long problems. One of the very best tools to a victorious life, rather than remaining a victim, is to give your pain and anger a voice. One’s “voice” does not necessarily assume speaking. Allowing one’s inner child to speak refers to finding some creative outlet to tell one’s abuse story. Through creative self-expression one will find comfort from the entanglement of an abusive past.Sexual Abuse, Rape, and Incest – Comfort through Creativity
Author: Donna Eder
Trauma from sexual abuse, rape, and incest does not have to result in devastating life-long problems. One of the very best tools to a victorious life, rather than remaining a victim, is to give your pain and anger a voice. One’s “voice” does not necessarily assume speaking. Allowing one’s inner child to speak refers to finding some creative outlet to tell one’s abuse story. Through creative self-expression one will find comfort from the entanglement of an abusive past. A creative voice can take on many forms. The form may be drawing, painting, writing (poetry, an article, essay, script, or book), creating a video, composing a song, journaling, dancing, or some other form to externally express one’s internal sexual abuse, rape, and incest issues. A creative voice allows the confusion, pain, and shame, a release from its inner bondage. The first (and only) step to beginning to give oneself a voice through creativity is to foster safety. One must be in (or find) a safe, non-threatening, calm, and safe space within and around oneself. In this safety one ensures no other pain will penetrate or be accumulated. This is critical. Expressing one’s voice necessitates appreciated vulnerability. One’s safe place is to be nurtured above all else. Everyone deserves dignity, respect, kindness, and validation, not to be further victimized. A safe place will ensure esteemed disclosure, albeit not guaranteeing understanding. There is no one right way or wrong way to “working” a creative outlet. However, it is an essential component to healing. Comfort is kindled through creating an end product that shares what has been silenced. One’s creations do not have to make sense to others. They are purposed as tools to express one’s pain. If they work for you then they work. They tell the story that could not be told in a verbal way, at that time. They don’t even have to make sense to oneself. Their purpose is to let go of the shame and silence that sexual abuse, rape, and incest have, for too long, held one captive. Sense cannot be made of the nonsensical. One’s creations are neither good nor bad. One does not need talent, propensity, quality, or quantity. The only ingredient is a silenced voice that requires emancipation. Through sharing one’s creative voice with oneself (and perhaps some other trusted person or persons), one’s seclusion, pain, and shame begin becoming unbound. The creative process for self-healing is not time-stamped. It is neither ever finished nor always constant. It grows and changes as one grows and heals. The one known variable is that giving a voice to the victim within, promotes comfort and healing. One’s identity, pain, and shame are given two wings to fly away. One’s new voice challenges encased old inner voices and tapes. There may be a time when what one hears from themselves is too alarming and overwhelming. Be patient and kind to honor oneself in the disclosure process. It may be that one will need to set aside her creative voice in order to pick it up at a later time. Even this is partly curative. Nothing cures sexual abuse, rape, and incest remnants in one’s life. How one responds to them will determine how healthy and functional one’s life becomes. Creatively voicing oneself is an effective and important method to communicate one’s lost inner child. Disclosure through a creative outlet will birth the comfort one seeks in order to be able to move on. To break free from remaining a victim of sexual exploitation, creatively claim your voice. Ó 2009 Donna Eder
About the AuthorDonna Eder is a published author and internationally juried artist. Her passions are compassion, teaching, and creativity. She has a Master of Arts from Columbia University, NY.
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