Harvest Life Gracefully-by teaching respect

Harvest Life Gracefully by teaching our children to respect adults

Teaching a child to respect you and other adults starts when they are toddlers. Here are simple and easy things you can do to ensure your child learns respect.

Author: george ferguson

If you've tried bribing punishing negotiating and even screaming - but your child still doesn't listen then read how these parents stopped the bad behavior once and for all... I am sure many of you have been exposed to a child who simply does not respect adults through their actions or words. Children learn these behaviors when they are toddlers. The first thing any parent needs to do is to teach the child to respect their parents. 'No' is one of the first words a child learns because a parent is usually telling them 'no'. They are mimicking your words no rebelling against you at this age. There is a big difference. I'm not suggesting you stop telling your child 'no' what I am suggesting is how you tell your child 'no'. When we are raising our children we need to choose our words carefully it will effect they way they see themselves and others around them. Children need boundaries as we all do teaching these boundaries through love will help develop a healthy sense of respect for themselves and others.
As your baby starts to crawl and walk they discover many things that are interesting to pick up and touch. Not all of these things are appropriate for them handle. For example if your child is reaching for a breakable item most people will shout yell or firmly say 'NO'. This tone of voice and volume is what stops the child from picking up or touching this item. Sometimes it will cause the child to cry bringing guilt to the parent for using such harsh tones and volume of voice therefore comforting the child and bringing confusion to the child's mind. First to shout 'NO' then you give comfort. Another way to handle this situation is say to the child 'this is not for baby (or use child's name) in a calm voice. While removing the item for the reach of the child or removing the child from the dangerous area. Distract the child with another toy or object that is appropriate for him/her to have at this time. Now life would be so perfect if it was that easy most children will return to the object in question and continue to touch the object in question. At this time a firm 'no' is appropriate. Do not feel guilty as the child begins to cry as you are only looking out for his/her safety and setting boundaries of your parental wisdom. Remember a child left unattended for a few seconds or minutes will usually find something interesting to catch their attention.
If your child is past this stage and already in the toddler stage of saying 'no' to mommy and daddy you will need to change this habit quickly. It's not so cute when your high school child tells you 'no' when you ask them to do something. Whenever your child does something you think is cute and you laugh at them they will continue this behavior knowing they got a positive response from you. Picture this same action from a 10 year old or older it may not be so cute. At that time you punish them for a behavior they were once receiving positive feedback. This is confusing and hurtful to a child. Be consistent with praise and discipline on their behavior. When a child says 'no' out of rebellion this is not acceptable behavior. You will need to nip it in the bud. Start by speaking lovingly to the child explaining they may not say 'no' to you. You will need to decide with your spouse an appropriate discipline for this action. At this time you will explain to your child if they say 'no' this discipline will take place. Mind you you will need to communicate this so that they understand. Always ask your child to repeat to you what you just informed them. This is to verify they understood what you are asking of them and it also reinforces it in their mind. Most children at this time will test the boundaries and see if you will follow through with your actions. You need to be consistent on your discipline. Teaching your child is THE most important job you have being consistent is the key to this. If you are busy washing dishes making the bed or cleaning house you will need to stop what you are doing and take care of this issue. Your words tone of voice and actions are all under a microscope with this child. They will mimic your voice tone words and actions.
So far I have discussed a child learning to talk with disrespect. I also want to focus on children interrupting. As I pointed out earlier your child and his/her upbringing is the most important job you have. I also need to emphasize that there are times your child will need to learn not to interrupt you and other adults. This is a social skill they will need later in life. No one likes to be interrupted. Teaching your child they have to wait until it is their turn to speak is a valuable lesson. How you teach your child to behave will make the difference for them later in life. A rude and misbehaving child is not one other people will want to be around. If you have friends avoiding playmate times with you or your child is having difficulty making friends you may need to reevaluate how you have taught your child to behave. It is never too late to teach your child respectful behavior. Remember you cannot be a hypocrite you must respect to get respect.