Teaching your child to cope with anger is to harvest life gracefully. Here are some tips from Leah Davies an educator, these tips are geared for teachers in the classroom, I think these tips are also excellent and helpful tips for parents to use in helping your child to cope with anger. I believe, anger is an healthy emotion but if it is not dealt with in a proper and acceptable way it can be very destructive.
Helping Children Cope with Anger
By Leah Davies, M.Ed.
All human beings experience anger. But children, in particular, have difficulty channeling their strong emotions into acceptable outlets. Anger is a response to a real or perceived loss or stress. It results when a person's self-esteem, body, property, values or sense of entitlement are threatened. It is often a reaction to feeling misunderstood, frustrated, hurt, rejected or ashamed.
Children often blame other people or events for their anger instead of assuming responsibility for it. If children do not learn how to release their anger appropriately, it can fester and explode in inappropriate ways or be internalized and damage their sense of self-worth. When children express their anger inappropriately, it may mean that they lack coping skills to deal with their emotions in positive ways.
To assist children in becoming emotionally competent so that they are ready to learn, educators need to help them:
1. Understand their anger and the emotions of others.
2. Develop positive social interaction skills.
3. Realize that they are responsible for the choices they make.
4. Learn how to express anger in ways that aren't harmful to themselves or others.
How can educators do this?
* Model acceptance of each child as a valuable human being worthy of respect.
* Accentuate each child's strengths.
* Make your expectations compatible with children's level of development.
* Provide a safe, responsive, predictable environment.
* Provide children the opportunity to make choices.
* Send honest, congruent messages, making sure your words match your facial expressions and body language.
* Be fair, supportive, firm, and consistent. Never ridicule a child.
* Watch for and acknowledge appropriate behavior.
* Teach decision making and problem-solving skills.
* Use role-playing, puppets, or videos to teach social skills. For example, how to treat each other or how to work out disagreements.
* Involve children in making rules such as:
o We are kind to each other
o We listen to others
o We use self-control
o We work out differences peacefully.
* Make the rules clear and follow through with meaningful consequences which are appropriate for the age of the child.
* Be aware of nonverbal signs that a child is angry such as a red face, tensed muscles, or clenched fists.
* Understand that a child's headaches, upset stomach, or withdrawn behavior may be a symptom of repressed anger.
* Watch the child carefully, noting the antecedents to aggressive behavior. Ask yourself:
o What happened right before the outburst?
o How was the child feeling?
o What does he or she need/want?
o What can I do to make the situation better for the child?
* Anticipate angry outbursts and arrange activities to reduce them. For example, if the child gets angry when it is time to go inside, talk with the child ahead of time and share your expectations. Then comment when the child acts appropriately.
* Arrange the seating to decrease conflict. Separate children who arouse angry responses in each other.
* Help children understand that anger is a natural emotion that everyone has. Say things like, "It's okay to feel angry. Everyone feels angry sometimes, but it is not okay to hurt yourself or others."
* Stop any aggressive behaviors. Say, "I can't let you hurt each other," or "I can't let you hurt me." Then remove the child or children as gently as possible.
* If the child is out-of-control, provide a quiet place where he/she can calm down.
* Resist taking a child's angry outburst personally. Deal with the child in a calm, matter-of-fact way.
* Acknowledge strong emotions, helping the child control him/herself and save face. For example say, "It must be hard to get a low score after you tried so hard."
* Assist the child in using a vocabulary of feeling words. Read books that ask the children to verbalize a time when they felt various emotions.
* Use feeling words to help the child understand the emotions of others. For example, "Mary is sitting alone and looks very sad; she may be lonely," or "When Joe tripped, he looked embarrassed."
* Help children understand their own emotions by putting their feelings into words. For example say, "It made you angry when they called you names."
* Listen, reflect and validate without judgment the feelings the child expresses. After listening, help the child identify the true feeling underlying the anger such as hurt, sadness, disappointment, fear, or frustration. For example, "That hurt when your best friend was mean to you," or "It was scary to have them gang up on you."
* Encourage the child to accept responsibility for the anger and to gain control over him/herself by asking him/herself the following:
o Did I do or say anything to create the problem?
If so, how can I make things better?
How can I keep this from happening again?
* Facilitate communication and problem solving with the child or between children by asking questions such as:
o What do you want/need?
o How can I help you?
o What can you do to help yourself?
* Help children understand that they can choose how to react when they feel angry. Teach them self-control and positive ways to cope with their negative impulses. The following are choices they can make:
o Stop and think
o Calm self by breathing deeply
o Count slowly
o Tense body and relax
o Find a quiet place or sit alone
o Write about feelings
o Tell someone how you feel
o Problem solve
o Look at books or read
o Draw or play with clay
o Exercise, walk or run
o Play music or sing
o Rest or take a shower
o Hug someone, a pet or a stuffed animal
* Stress that the children must accept responsibility for their actions. Reinforce any constructive steps.
* Establish an open, caring relationship with other adults who care about the child, so that jointly you can help the angry child meet his/her psychological needs of being accepted, secure, and recognized as a valuable human being.
* Help the parent or guardian understand that giving in to a child's outburst or exposing him/her to verbal or physical violence can be detrimental to a child's growth and development. If needed, provide parenting information or suggest a parenting class.
* If the problem is beyond your scope of expertise, seek additional assistance and/or recommend professional help.
* Lastly, find healthy outlets for your own strong emotions, so that you will be open to the needs of the children with whom you work.
Showing posts with label gary ebyl gracefully. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gary ebyl gracefully. Show all posts
Monday, July 5, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Harvest Life Gracefully take control of your destiny by making your own choices
Dreaming, choices, and decisions is all part of Harvest Life Gracefully to attain life success. Reading this article by Gary Eby will give you a clear understanding how choices and making decisions affect your life successes. The ideal is to motivate oneself, to take control of your own life, live the life you always dreamed about by making your own choices, then take full responsibility for your own actions. You can attain success if you take full control of your life. Life is taking risks and then to learn from failures. Failures are not a sign to give up. Do you recall hearing this statement? "If you first don't succeed, try and try again." Lets Harvest Life Gracefully and start taking control of our own life.
Let Your Destiny Manifest Itself To Attain Life Success
by: Gary Eby
What drives you? What is it that defines your entire persona? What are you living for?
Unfortunately, most people have are way ward of the very purpose they exist. Can you remember those days of your youthful exuberance when you undoubtedly believe you can achieve anything? Filled with unfathomable enthusiasm and driven with a determined resolution.
Sadly for most those days are long gone, they are the ghost of their former selves. Battered and beaten by the ravages of stress from work, society and life itself. So many haven’t dreamed in for so long that they actually don’t know what they want any longer! Don’t you think it’s time to stir up that dream inside of you? Your dreams and your destiny are not determined by “CHANCE” but by “CHOICE” It is solely your Decision.
The life you have now is the result in direct correlation to the Choices you’ve made in the past. But, sometimes you are hindered and stuck in mediocrity because you were afraid to make a sound Decision. You are just flowing along the stream that forces of nature roll you along. The kind of cavalier “Que Sera Sera” attitude is not only inexplicable it’s repulsive and inexcusable. Isn’t it time you got involved with your own life? Isn’t it time to start living through your own Decisions and take responsibility for your actions, be it the Choices you make in your life.
It’s your life, live it the way you see fit. It is a concept so simple yet people indignantly miss it therefore missing out how prolific it really is!
I believe that you can attain anything in life if you act on it and persevere to achieve it regardless the hindrances looming over. It’s your Decision, it is your Choice!
Quoting from Lewis Carrol’s Alice in Wonderland… Alice asked the cat, “Would you please tell me, which way I ought to go from here?” The cat answered, “That depends a great deal on where you are heading to.” Alice exclaimed, “Oh, I don’t much care.” “Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go, the cat remarked poignantly.
What are you trying to accomplish with your life? What do you want to attain? It’s your Choice, you are in direct control. Take responsibility for your actions and refrain from blaming others for your failures! Make a sound judgment for your Decisions, start by getting serious and get going! Life goes on, with or without you!
Here is an inspiring quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Never let anybody steal your dream or vision!
You need to make a Decision! Don’t go on through life idly staving away when there is boatload of opportunity in front of you. It is much easier to make a course correction that it is to get started! It takes careful planning and solid preparation with corrections on the side. But before they can do that they had to make a Decision to take off first.
How do you process a Decision?
It is vitally important to grasps all the concepts. Never make 100% assumptions while only having 10% facts. It is illogical and impractical, you need to consider various solutions and objectively evaluate their consequences. Weighing the best and worst case scenarios, and then make sure that the Decision is congruent with your Goals, Plans and Mission statement. Lastly you must always effectively convey your judgment to your support team.
An ideal support team would be your family members, close friends, relatives who are helping out your cause, refrain from consulting with those who are dragging down.
Remember you are the architect of your life. You must be willing and able to make Choices. Your destiny is determined by Choice not by chance!
About The Author
Gary Eby, a member of the Jim Rohn Speaker Bureau, is gifted to teach deep truths in a clear and easily understandable style. His messages are power-packed and often filled with laughter and practical illustrations. He has shared the stage with great speakers such as Jim Rohn and Les Brown. Not only is Gary a sought after speaker, but he is also an author whose personal development book Lefthanded Soldiers has received worldwide attention. You may receive a free copy at http://cli.gs/garyeby
The author invites you to visit:
http://garyeby.com/
Let Your Destiny Manifest Itself To Attain Life Success
by: Gary Eby
What drives you? What is it that defines your entire persona? What are you living for?
Unfortunately, most people have are way ward of the very purpose they exist. Can you remember those days of your youthful exuberance when you undoubtedly believe you can achieve anything? Filled with unfathomable enthusiasm and driven with a determined resolution.
Sadly for most those days are long gone, they are the ghost of their former selves. Battered and beaten by the ravages of stress from work, society and life itself. So many haven’t dreamed in for so long that they actually don’t know what they want any longer! Don’t you think it’s time to stir up that dream inside of you? Your dreams and your destiny are not determined by “CHANCE” but by “CHOICE” It is solely your Decision.
The life you have now is the result in direct correlation to the Choices you’ve made in the past. But, sometimes you are hindered and stuck in mediocrity because you were afraid to make a sound Decision. You are just flowing along the stream that forces of nature roll you along. The kind of cavalier “Que Sera Sera” attitude is not only inexplicable it’s repulsive and inexcusable. Isn’t it time you got involved with your own life? Isn’t it time to start living through your own Decisions and take responsibility for your actions, be it the Choices you make in your life.
It’s your life, live it the way you see fit. It is a concept so simple yet people indignantly miss it therefore missing out how prolific it really is!
I believe that you can attain anything in life if you act on it and persevere to achieve it regardless the hindrances looming over. It’s your Decision, it is your Choice!
Quoting from Lewis Carrol’s Alice in Wonderland… Alice asked the cat, “Would you please tell me, which way I ought to go from here?” The cat answered, “That depends a great deal on where you are heading to.” Alice exclaimed, “Oh, I don’t much care.” “Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go, the cat remarked poignantly.
What are you trying to accomplish with your life? What do you want to attain? It’s your Choice, you are in direct control. Take responsibility for your actions and refrain from blaming others for your failures! Make a sound judgment for your Decisions, start by getting serious and get going! Life goes on, with or without you!
Here is an inspiring quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Never let anybody steal your dream or vision!
You need to make a Decision! Don’t go on through life idly staving away when there is boatload of opportunity in front of you. It is much easier to make a course correction that it is to get started! It takes careful planning and solid preparation with corrections on the side. But before they can do that they had to make a Decision to take off first.
How do you process a Decision?
It is vitally important to grasps all the concepts. Never make 100% assumptions while only having 10% facts. It is illogical and impractical, you need to consider various solutions and objectively evaluate their consequences. Weighing the best and worst case scenarios, and then make sure that the Decision is congruent with your Goals, Plans and Mission statement. Lastly you must always effectively convey your judgment to your support team.
An ideal support team would be your family members, close friends, relatives who are helping out your cause, refrain from consulting with those who are dragging down.
Remember you are the architect of your life. You must be willing and able to make Choices. Your destiny is determined by Choice not by chance!
About The Author
Gary Eby, a member of the Jim Rohn Speaker Bureau, is gifted to teach deep truths in a clear and easily understandable style. His messages are power-packed and often filled with laughter and practical illustrations. He has shared the stage with great speakers such as Jim Rohn and Les Brown. Not only is Gary a sought after speaker, but he is also an author whose personal development book Lefthanded Soldiers has received worldwide attention. You may receive a free copy at http://cli.gs/garyeby
The author invites you to visit:
http://garyeby.com/
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